:: Youth & Eternity ::
Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest... Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly… stupid.
[2003-09-15 @ 1:38 p.m.]

How true, how true it is. I'm home sick today (poor Amanda, pity me). So I get to sit around and read Entertainment Weekly and ponder points in life. Ah, life is good.

I feel like being a bit philosophical today, if you don't mind. This Jack Sparrow quote may seem superfluous to you, but it truly makes me think. I don't know if I'm the best "deep writer", but I can try.

I think that the world can come to a person in two ways, good or bad. You have to pick one or the other. At certain points in your life you may think better of your choice, but eventually you'll fall back on whatever one was your first choice. Then everything can be seen two ways: good or bad. Something that's meant as a joke could be thought of as rude, and in contrast, something meant to be deep could be utterly laughable. Once again, this ties completely with what you believe the world to be.

But no matter if you think life is cruel or if life is wonderful, you have to live it. You live it to die. Your life is but a speck on the timeline of the world; it is nothing at all. What you do in your life is something, however. You can choose to better the lives of others, or you can choose to better your own life, and, very rarely, you can do both. What you opt to do not only affects your outcome but the outcome of others.

No matter who we are, dozens of other people depend on who we are. Whether you're a hermit or you're a social butterfly, there are people that need you in some way or another, for good or for bad. And, in effect, those people have dozens of lives depending on theirs. There are millions and millions of lives that, however indirectly, need you. Yes, you.

What a weighty problem this presents! Every decision you make, every word you utter causes a chain reaction. Anything from a cold to a smile or frown can be infectious depending on you. Not to put more weight on your shoulders, but the older you get, the worse it will get. No one lives all of their dreams, and everyone hopes to live their dreams through someone else as their end nears. It's a depressing thought that everything reaches an end, and how true it is!

As a child you look to the future with starry eyes, dreams that reach for the moon, and as an adult you look back to those broken dreams with either diminished spirit or with a smile at your silly inspirations. Whether any of your dreams come true or not depends on how much you believe in your talents and abilities, not how much others do. People see something in a confident person, a spark, if you will. We admire those who have confidence in themselves, and we want to mimick their careers with no idea of how they actually suceeded- not thru good looks or money, not even talent, but the fact that they KNOW they have talent.

For instance, I don't look up to Johnny Depp because of his good looks (as popularly believed), I look up to him because he knows what he's doing. He knows how to get into a character, and he knows that he's good. He was an inch from being fired from his part of Jack Sparrow, but he told the producers to trust him, that he knew what he was doing and he wouldn't change. If they didn't like it, they should just replace him. It's that kind of thing that demands respect, that kind of person you want to be.

It's not conceited, it's not pride, it's knowing where you're going and who you are. In respect, there are the innocent heroes we all look up to, in fiction and in real life. There are times when the line between "self-repect" and "self-love" can be crossed. In Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, for instance, a young man, Pip, comes into sudden wealth. He has a choice between the attainable down-to-earth girl or the rich, snobby girl who doesn't love him whatsoever (reminds me of an Elijah Wood movie...I'm awake!). He, of course, becomes so self-confident in the abilities that he DOESN'T have, he goes for the rich one, blinded by lust for money and beauty from her lack of care for him. She, in turn, had no reason for her egotistical ways, and, after many years, came to realize her mistake, too late for a relationship with the one she realizes she should have picked instead of picking men of power, zealous in pursuit of more fortune.

It is the fictional character with un-knowing self-confidence that we tend to, or at least should, endear. Harry Potter, for instance. You laugh, but there is deeper meaning to Harry Potter than just what lies on the outside. J.K. Rowling created the imperfect hero, the flawed hero. The not necessarily handsome hero with problems like anyone else may have. Harry came from a shattered past, grew up in cruel surroundings. He lived with a loving family that did not love him, he grew up in a place that had many comforts but lived on bear necessities. And despite what the "muggle" world threw in his face, he still bravely fights for not only wizard lives, but the lives of the muggles, too. He maintains that innocent, heroic mentality, with the romanticist point-of-view. The story may come to an end that most stories boil down to: a final battle. The last battle between him and Voldemort (which, for those of you who never noticed, means "flight of death" in French) that will result in either of their lives coming to an abbrupt end. And, of course, we only hope that Harry prevails, because he is the embodiment of the childishly loving look on the world in all of us have that oftentimes goes un-accentuated.

Another good fictional character to bring up in this point, you will laugh at me, is Frodo Baggins. Yes, the hobbit of the Shire, the one that is adorable and sweet and just totally hot and therefore loved by all- but Tolkien had quite a deeper meaning in this character, one I believe, that was mimicked in Harry Potter. The innocent love for everything in the world, good or evil, and the overwhelming desire to protect it at all costs. He is not a conceited character, but he knows of his strengths. He believes in himself. He has the artist's love for beauty, the love for friendship and love itself. And despite all the trials he went through for the love of love, he leaves his beloved Shire- the place he fought to return to the whole of his journey- and his friends for the Elven refuge. Sure, he lives for eternity, but he lives that eternity never having what it was he fought so bravely for. And the whole of the book, every character has terms to come to grips with, but Frodo had it right the whole way through: he wasn't looking for fame, he wasn't looking for wealth, he wasn't looking for power. He wanted to save the wonderous world he knew and protect everything in it. He made a sacrifice to do this, and was never acknowledged as he should have been. He was not like the men that wanted thrones, he was not like the Elves that may have seemed perfect but dwelled too much upon the fatalistic views of life though he knew that all he fought for would in the end prove to be pointless. That as the ring was destroyed and Middle Earth would be saved from Sauron's rule, it would, in the end, fail. And, yet, he maintained his dignity in the form of adversity, and truly portrays the theme that we should all aspire to.

Yes, life is short. Yet despite it's shortness, we should all strive to be the best we can, whether we're praised or put down for it. That even if what we do may prove to be pointless today, it will be worth something tomorrow. Yes, everything lives to die, but their lives live on through the lives of others, and in turn, lives after that. We have to find a beauty in life, a point to fight for, or else our lives are superficial, mundane, pointless. You can want to save the trees, you can want to save lives, you may just want to touch the lives of others, but you have to find something that you believe in doing, and try to accomplish that to the best of your abilities. Instead of being the like the Elf, seeing death in all living things and the pointlessness in saving it, be Frodo, and fight for the little life that may remain, despite the costs, despite the eventual downfall. For, in the end, that is what wins true happiness, whether you enjoy your life or not, you know that you accomplished something great.

In other news, on the the cover of Entertainment Weekly is Johnny Depp, and man, is he hot! Geez, hard to believe the guy is 40. He's got that overly-done undone look that just looks great! Holes in the pants, unwashed hair, rolling cigarettes right in front of interviewers- wow, he is cool.

And I realized that punk stars are ugly, and just cover it up with a lot of makeup, tattoos, and mohawks. Tho Billy Martin from Good Charlotte is really hot (they're not a punk band, really, they're pop, and they totally suck, Billy makes it worth it). I used to think that stuff was hot? Why? Orlando Bloom's mohawk is hot, it's got that understated hotness to it, not overdone... anyways!

And there's a big, fat, ugly hurricane headed right for my hometown. Just above North Carolina, it's supposed to pass over Cape Hatteras and right to us. Evacuations start as early as tomorrow. If I miss school, then I'm all over Encore, they're playing Avalon, and I'm dying to see it. I'll end up renting it, I just know it.

But the roads outta this place are gonna be more like a scene outta Deep Impact than usual! The same roads from that movie look exactly like that movie every summer (I know, I drive them), but this is gonna be even worse than the usual apocalyptic-proportional traffic jam. Geez, can't wait! And I'm sure that it won't be as bad as they're making it out to be. It never is! My freakishly small hands and, in turn, freakishly large feet are freezing! That was alliteration! Yep, as if you couldn't already tell that I loved English class.

Oh my gah, I saw Megan Mullally from Will and Grace hostin' this Women of TV and Radio thing last night, and it was so cool. I want to be just like a lot of those ladies on there- I'm just not sure how I'll do it. Well, I should be going soon. I've sat here for over an hour typing about the meaning of life in comparison to fictional characters from famous English literature. And my feet are cold.


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one thousand embraces

SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24

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