:: Youth & Eternity ::
If this day gets any better, by noon I'll be rolling in glass.
[2003-10-02 @ 7:31 p.m.]

That's a nice little quote spoken by Will Truman, played by the incomprable Eric McCormack from Will & Grace.

I love that show...

New episode! Tonight! Be there!

Yes, well, life is uninteresting in every aspect thinkable, as is the norm in every 16 year old girl's life, I suppose. I go to school, whine, come home, complain, eat, do homework, watch tv/movie or play video game, and read, and write a bit of a story I'm workin' upon, and sleep. I love writing, and reading, and, well, truth be told, sleeping. But, once again, I am but a teenager. What else is there to do?

I'll tell you what I should do (and I'm gonna rant about this for a bit): practice my cello. See, we had a loverly orchestra test the other day for seating. Yes. Now, normally I'm about 3rd or 4th chair cello. No, not this time. This was the 1st blind audition, meaning in: it was the first time the teacher couldn't play favourites because he sat behind a screen while we played after picking numbers. Well, to tell ya the truth, that changed a lot of the seats around. People you normally see in back moved up. I moved up.

To first.

Needless to say, the girl that ALWAYS, without a doubt has first chair moved back to second. She's usually really nice to me, sorta. Well, she never says anything rude to my face (I'm obviously oblivious to what goes on behind my back, which is probably more than I expect as you will come to see). I come in the next morning and everyone is silent and listens intently whilst I practice, and everyone hushly talks to the girl, making quick, nasty glances to me as if to say, "You're going down."

Well, today she was apparently in better spirits because she was trying to be humorous while she "challenged" me for my chair (the new thing imposed upon us by my teacher, instead of taking tests regulary to find our seats, we keep the same seats all year unless we challenge or are challenged by someone, in which case we proverbially fight for the seat with 10 lines of music played in front of a blind teacher). Well, she acted nice, but obviously she had been bad-talking me, because all of the other cellos sniggered while she did.

I can admit the fact that she is better than me, she does deserve first. I'm a good player, however, and I don't take highly to such deconstructive critism because I can try to hide it, but it really does hurt my feelings. It hurts anyone when they're critisized for something they know they're good at. So when the other cellos who aren't as good as me start laughing and saying that I can't play behind my back, then I get upset. It's an understandable thing.

The way I used to grasp the thing was as thus: the orchestra is divided into groups. The violas watch out for the violas, all of the violins get along. I always thought that despite the fact that none of us are best friends or anything that we cellos always get along pretty well, help each other out when some music is hard. I always thought about this kinda thing like the family in the Godfather. Being stabbed in the back like this was like waking up with the neck and scroll of my cello on my bedsheets covered in horseblood when I wake up and unsuspectedly roll over. Why would someone talk about me behind my back for any reason? Any reason at all? I don't do that to other people, I try to find good in everyone and I want people to know what I like about them.

So, if I'm such a nice person, why do I get that stuff from people? Is it because I take it lying down? Probably. Nice guys do finish last, Greenday tells me no lies. Well, I'm gonna be the good person and turn the other cheek, pretend it never happened.

Like always.

Anyways, I'm sure no one wanted to read all of that. So, I guess I'll moved on! Hrm, what was I gonna say?...

Have I mentioned Sleepy Hollow yet? I finally saw Tim Burton's "Sleepy Hollow" and it was awesome and Johnny Depp so RULES and I wanna be able to act that well some day. I like that song, "Someday". The video is depressing though. Very reminiscent of "The Sixth Sense".

And today is Sting's birthday! Hooray for Sting! I LOVE STING! I love all of his songs, and I love the Police, too. Sting rules.

Yes, it is almost that dreaded time of year for my school: homecoming (dramatic reverb). Yeah, I hate dances, so I'm avoiding that at all costs. However, there is the matter of Spirit Week that coincides with said day. The second day of "Spirit" week (I put spirit in quotes because I HATE my school) is devoted to MTV. Dress up as your favourite MTV related-thing. Well, I contemplated, and I contemplated, and I reflected, and then I contemplated some more...and my wee brain concocted an idea! My friends and I could be...

Wait for it...

The Spice Girls! Remember them? Ya know, Brits, short skirts, tight shirts, ridiculous platform shoes? Yeah, that's them. Well, I called firstses on Posh. She was my favourite. I've assembled my team, and we're studying their every ways. Too much makeup, not enough clothes...it's gonna be grand! I'm buring off cds, watching their movie, finding their music videos and live performances, it's gonna rule. There's also just a regular tv day on which I thought I could attempt my Karen Walker impression, "Could the salesgirls at Barney's be right? Could I be a bad person?"

Perfect transition! See, there's this little matter of a trip to Florida this spring break with my orchestra. Theme parks, basketball games, fancy dinners...

But my mum suggested that I take the $500 that covers the trip, and use it to go on a New York Christmas trip with the family. Skating in Rockefeller Plaza (something I've dreamed of since I got my first pair of skates and started lessons), shopping at Barney's or Sacs (something I've dreamed of since I, well, since ever, I've always been big on spending gobs of cash), seeing the Metropolitian light in all it's splendour. I thought about it...and thought...

Forget Florida! NEW YORK! Granted, I'm moving there in two years to attend Columbia, and I'll probably tire of Manhatten eventually, but I've only got two years with my mum and brother. Then I'm off to New York to school, and my mum and bro are off to Seattle (it's what my mum dreams of doing), and to be utterly honest here, I'll probably go years without seeing them in person again. So, I forewent a trip with friends for a trip with family, and you can call me crazy, but my friends aren't forever, my family is.

End of story.

I love my mum and brother, I don't know where I'd be without them. Without their occasional snide comments on my tastes, "Eew, you're not listening to Our Lady Peace again? Raine Maida can't sing, and the world isn't a big enough closet for the blue-eyed Canadian freak. Oh yeah, eh!" No! I love Our Lady Peace, and I love Canada! "How many times do you have to see this Elijah Wood movie? He's so queer he makes Elton John look straight. C'mon. And he should check a mirror 'cuz he's got a little crazy on his face with those bulging eyes. Isn't there some kinda medication he could take?" But his eyes are pretty! "Enya isn't real music, and Bjork is a freak. Give it up, there's no defense. And, no, Dido sounds like a man when she sings, Amanda, so turn down the television" No! Enya is brilliant, I've heard her sing in three languages, Bjork is creative, and Dido is just cool, mum!

Ah, I love my family. It's the greatest. I love coffee, too... mocha... Starbucks... ahh...

Need... caffiene... fix... When was the last time I downed an entire can of non-un-caffinated diet Pepsi? Not soon enough, I can tell ya that.

I gotta go see about that new Will and Grace. As in, when does it start, and what is it about? Toodles!

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one thousand embraces

SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24

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