:: Youth & Eternity ::
Whose warm lemonade is this? It's not my-ine, it must be your-ine. Get it?
[2003-11-14 @ 4:28 p.m.]

Via my good pal Liz, I now have Good Charlotte stuck in my head. You scoff, but you do not understand this terrible turn of events. I HATE Good Charlotte with every fiber of my being. The only reason anyone should like them is Billy (he's just hot). Their ambititions are grand, wanting to touch people's lives; their pasts are timeless, growing up in broken homes and coping with massive loss; their fairy-tale success story is what everyone strives for, one day bagging groceries and cutting hit albums the next. But I still hate their music. Whiny, noisy, mundane... Any schmuck off the street can understand their lyrics. I like to take big, juicy bites of lyrics with alliteration, symbolism, and fancy terms like "existential carousel" (that's Incubus... great lyrics on their part), not "Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money".


Alright, think Evanescence, think Our Lady Peace, think Anti-Flag, think Mozart (hooray for spicatto and shortened quarter notes!), think Enya, heck- think Jack's Subway Tush. Anything.

Hey mon frere, if your derriere could use a little cush, no need to pout, the word is out- it's Jack's Subway Tush!

Okay, that's better. Speaking of, I loved the new episode of Will & Grace. And the commercial hinting the end of Grace's marriage, b/c w/out her, the show went downhill. Far down. Down to the pits of no-man's land. At the seventh layer of hell you have disbelievers, murderers, and those who thought it was smart to marry off Grace Adler to someone with a crooked face.

I feel better.

So! I don't want to look like a looser anymore, movin' on. Hrm, Yep, now I have Evanescence stuck in my head. One of those awesomely dark ones, Pre-Fallen... sends chills down my spine.

This is gonna seem a little off subject, but I need to get it off my chest. I love the winter. I love the barren, desolate trees garbed in white bark mourning their fallen leaves. I love the numbness in my fingers, the redness of my nose, the very taste and smell of the chilling wind carrying the sweet scent of decaying life. Everything is forsaken, lonely, dead, and it provides me comfort and happiness knowing that the season is a martyr, a saint to bring it's inhabitants pain for my own enjoyment.

That doesn't make me weird, does it? I most certainly hope so. I like being different, it makes me feel singled out, cornered, angsty without reason. Not so much special as separated. Another reason to like winter, it's so much different than the other seasons.

Yep, I read a lot. I should stop reading and start listening to mindless garbage like Good Charlotte to let my brain disenegrate into nothingness, a vast void where meger knowledge once lay.

Yep, yep...is there anything superficial to bring up? No, nothing that comes to mind. Today Orchestra was slacker than usual. The teacher wasn't there, I think he was at the Elton John concert under the synonym of "school competition out of area". Go figure. So we all got the bell to pretend to practice, and truly do our homework and goof off. Hooray for no work ethic! In Math (a pre-calc kinda dealy) we're doing Proofs of Arithmetic and Geometric Sequences. It's not so much hard as is time and paper consuming. Last night I used three pages of college ruled paper and one hour of my day for five problems. I kid you not. Five. And in French class, we're learning "La Marseillaise" (sp? gender? I don't remember, j'ai oblie), the french national anthem, and we're going to go to the classrooms of the French hating teachers and sing it for them. I'm all over that like ugly on Steven Tyler.

Which reminds me, I got into a conversation with a friend the other day about the bands we grew up on. She seemed to come up with Guns and Roses and Aerosmith, and I had Pink Floyd, ACDC, Michael Jackson, and the Smashing Pumpkins. Just thought I'd mention that, for some reason unknown to me. But I don't care for Guns and Roses or Aerosmith, but I love Pink Floyd and ACDC and Michael Jackson and The Smashing Pumpkins. Go figure.

There's been something in my eye all day and it's bothering me. It bothers me like the fact that Brenden Fraser stooped so low as to make an animated movie again. You'd think the fella'd learn from his mistake of "Monkey Bone". He's too good for those stupid "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" types of movies that I HATE. I hate that genre more than Good Charlotte. Grr...breathe, Amanda, breathe...

I'm good! Wow, this is LONG! Cool. Yep, anything else I'd like to ramble pointlessly on about? Hrm, hum, hmm... I love Harry Potter.

Just ta share.

Oh! Poem! I promised you my song that I wrote for my band! Here ya go:


The trodden brown leaves bring winter doom

The end of the warmth leaves, leaves me so soon,

Wherefore did hope leave me, left lying forsaken

Lost in the surreal, unreal, so real, never to waken

...no tomorrow...

The chill air stings my lungs, sweeps my hair

All I see, your face, about face, such a face so fair

As I run, flee before the face of my enemy, my foe

The Adversary forever hunting me, haunting me so.

*There will be no tomorrow because there is no today

Nothing left to follow and nothing left to say

Naught to say, not to stay*

Hasten the night skies, darkness, solitude mask my eyes

The light of a fell moon rise, set my size, bring the wise

No longer seeing when my seeing buys believing

Believing in feeling, screaming, sobbing, seething

*There will be no tomorrow because there is not today

No reason left to follow, no reason for me to stay

Run away with no delay

No more tomorrow because there is no today

The present is unpleasant, the future gone astray

There will be no tomorrow because there is no today

Nothing left to follow, and nothing left to say*

...running away...

You likey? Me likey. Okay, in the line that says, "The light of a fell moon rise, set my size, bring the wise", there is a double meaning. One meaning is the oxymoron of "rise, set" adding emphasis to the second meaning being that of the evil rising moon outlining the figure of a running person ("set my size" being the size of the running person against the moon). Also in the same line is allusion, reference to the bringing of owls by the moon, owls the bird of Athena, Athena the Goddess of Wisdom. There's other symbolism, plenty of repetition and refrain along with many more oxymorons. But I just wanted to explain that one line. I had all this stuff running through my head (including all of the technical stuff I just told you), and I wrote it all down in a hurry, producing this unchained nonsense song.

Thank you for reading. I still love Harry Potter, and I still hate Good Charlotte. Toodles!

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one thousand embraces

SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24

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