:: Youth & Eternity ::
I'm Red. Of Red, Homo, Homo, and Boy.
[2003-11-21 @ 4:09 p.m.]

Grr, people anger me. There I am, innocently looking at the trees in bewilderment of their beauty on my way home, contemplating the deep meanings in simplistic things done and said over the school day on my way to my front door like I do every weekday (and I'm not kidding), and a white car full of teenage guys drove by and honked and they all slowed down, leaned out and smiled. That is so rude! I wanted to give them the finger, but then I remembered that that's no better. So I ignored them and kept on walking.

This entire day people have been weird around me. My teachers seem unusually nice, my friends are unusually rude, and complete strangers in cars are no better. People I don't really know keep stopping by my locker to talk to me. What's up with that? Then they all hang around, apparently expecting me to say something to them. What am I supposed to say? "Hi! I don't know your name, and it creeps me out that you know mine. So, how's your day going?"

Not that I'm much better. I like talking to people who don't ever talk. My friend Liz and I noticed a loner that sat by the girl's bathroom everyday at lunch last year, so we sat down and talked to him. We called him Guster, and that name stuck, and now everyone (and I mean everyone) hangs out with him. People who hang out by themselves are my prime target. Those are sometimes the best people to be with! But still, I'm not a loner, and I have no idea why all these people are talking to me all of a sudden. Not that I don't like it, it's just a little outta the norm.

Hrm, anyways...yeah... report cards came out, and I'm pleased with my grades! Three A's and two B's. B in math and history (the B in history is only because I missed two days, the B in math is because it's hard). A's in English, French, and Orchestra. Life is grand. And today in English we studied Macbeth in one of the two courtyards. It was so pretty outside, but my papers were blown askew in the wind, and my hair looked terrible. Sorta like that one ugly guy with the square afro from the band I hate- what's it called?...oh, yeah, Billy Talent. *Shivers* Yuck. How 'bout Billy Talentless that rips off names from Billy Idol, a real Billy of talent?

I hope I didn't loose anyone there, just my emo-punk-pop bashing that I try to do daily. It saves my mental health... I think. I have Jason Mraz stuck in my head. "'Cuz you and I both loved what you and I spoke of and others just dreamed of. Well if you could see me now, well then I'm almost finally out of, finally out of, well I'm almost finally finally out of words..." Wow, I love that song. I love all his songs. He and Anti-Flag are coming to town (not at the same gig or even at the same venue on the same day... that would be pretty funny). And heaven knows I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Anti-Flag. Ooh, and the Mad Caddies. Anybody else here looooove the Mad Caddies? And Lagwagon (and Me First and the Gimmie-gimmies for that matter), and NoFX, and Less than Jake, and Avail... I'll restrain myself by stopping there. If I start up, baby, I won't stop. Not to quote a song or anything there. And, yes, I know I didn't use the exact lyrics.

Alright, change of subject to avoid alienation of any reader. So, how 'bout that Michael Jackson case? Hmm, yeah, I've got nuthin' for small talk. Lunch was unusually interesting today. I had fun just walking around with friends. Bothering people, yelling, being annoying... some things I do best. And still I found conversation topics on why Mother Theresa debated her religion. Does that make me weird?

Guess so! Hmm, I have a hankerin' for Kids in the Hall. I love that show... Oh! And I loved the new episode of Will & Grace last night! I love the sad ones... Like the one when Grace broke up with Nathan and... wait, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. Never mind, then.

Hmm, what else is going on in my life? You know, today I just don't feel happy. I've felt this way for a week or so. Just unhappy. I talked about it in the last two entries. I really don't feel like typing it all again. I just kinda feel burdensome (both like a burden, and burdened myself), kinda seperate from others, kinda like everything's a "kinda" instead of a certain "yes" or "no". I'm standing in a lonely middle ground, undecided on everything, and forcefully reflecting on what I don't want to reflect on. Life is rough, even at sixteen.

Hmm... I think lack of sleep is adversally affecting my mood, but, in good news, I'm planning my next kilt day. Everyone at HHS, wear kilts (or any plaid) on the last day of school before Christmas break. It'll be good fun. I'll even break out the pouch and tassled socks. Classic.

Oh, and this title came from Will & Grace (imagine that).

Gotta go, toodles!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

one thousand embraces

SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24

Layout was made by Emerald Ice for use at Frozen Ice.
Image credit goes to Squaresoft.