:: Youth & Eternity ::
Where is fancy bred? In the heart, or in the head?
[2003-11-27 @ 1:54 p.m.]

Wow, I'm sittin' 'round just listening to Our Lady Peace. This is life, this is the kind of thing that just provides simplistic happiness. Something so simple as listening to my favourite band and typing in an online diary.

Well, today's Thanksgiving. There's only one other country besides America that celebrates said holiday: Canada- or so says my French teacher. Anyways, if it's true, their Thanksgiving was sometime in October (correct me if I'm wrong here, I'm interested to know such things). Happy late Thanksgiving, Canada! And happy Thanksgiving America! Turkey Day is the traditional movie night for my family. I wanted to go see Matrix Revolutions, but I already know how it ends and I'm the only one in my family who's seen Reloaded. So, instead (and not to my disliking) we get to see "Elf"! It looks so cute.

Cute isn't a word I've been using until just yesterday. I don't get it. I was reading "People" magazine (I usually hate that stuff, but it was Johnny Depp) and I thought that it was so cute that Johnny Depp wears a bracelet one of his kids made him. And I, obviously, exclaimed, "Awww, how cute!" Which, I believe, was utterly startling coming from my mouth. And I had no idea that I was taller than Antonio Banderas, Jon Stewart, and Wilmer Valderamma. 'Course, I kinda think I'm taller than a lot of people...I like looking at short people lists. Prince and Elijah Wood are both, according to People magazine, some of the shortest entertainers in Hollywood. How interesting, I guess. Not really. Well, now you know.

Oh! Yes! I promised to share a dream I had with you guys. Alright, let me reiterate: I read too much Lord of the Rings one night before bed, and one of my last thoughts was how much I want a library when I grow up (in my mansion in Monaco where even my maids are millionaires... it'll happen, don't laugh). Mmmkay, so, I was at the library (not one I recognise in real life, but it was a library nontheless). My friend Kelly and I were browsing when we ran into Sean Astin (from Lord of the Rings- see? I read too much, I'm telling you), who, apparently, was a friend of ours. He told us that he owned three back shelves of the library and led us to them. One shelf was devoted to sci-fi books, another to anime, and the third to fantasy. Obviously, hating sci-fi and anime, I went to the fantasy section and picked up the sixth Harry Potter book (which, by the way, isn't out yet in real life). Well, in walked one of my friends named Rachel (she's also the bassist in my band in real life) and she told Sean Astin that we shouldn't be allowed in because we didn't like Star Wars. Just then in walked a cross-dressed Elijah Wood (I swear, I am not making this part up) and he pulled out some anime from the anime shelf along with a Barbie doll saying, "Oh, I was looking for that!" I could hear my brother's disembodied voice over all of this saying, "Ha! Told you so." So the four other people there were so appalled at my hatred of Star Wars that they started blasting me with all of these questions about it. Let me remind you, I know nothing about those movies because every time I see one I never pay attention, so how on Earth my mind knew these questions is beyond me. But I came up with every answer, and then I woke up. I woke up very, very frightened, and I didn't want to go to sleep again. Can you blame me?

Well, last night I had a sad dream. I'll share that one with you since I'm already on the subject. I was at my house, and there were a buncha people from school all around, but there was this one guy there that I really just wanted to talk to. I don't know if he was from my school or not, but he looked familiar. Anyways, I worked up the nerve, and he got really rude and said he didn't want to talk to anyone like me. I was so upset that I locked myself in my room. I changed my clothes and my hair and makeup and I went back downstairs again. Everyone was still there, only they were outside on my back deck, overlooking my backyard. But it was no longer my back yard, the smooth grass was changed into a glassy, clear Carribean sea. I walked out onto the deck, and on the other side stood a guy that I swear I've never seen before in my life. But there he was, he was just my height (hard to come by, I'll tell ya that) with dark hair and dark eyes (kinda like a young Colin Farrel), and he walked on over to me. Some of the same cruel people began to make fun of me again, but he punched the living daylights out of them. Nice. But despite that, I still felt so upset and angry at myself over the ridicule that I hurtled myself into the ocean to die. And all I was around me was the clear water and in real life I couldn't breathe (don't you hate that when you dream? You dream you can't breathe, and you can't). The colours around me began to blur, and everything began to fade, and I saw someone dive into the water after me- it was that Colin Farrel-ish guy! Anyways, I suppose everything went well from there, because the next scene I saw was the two of us, years older, crossing a dark, wet street hand in hand. It was calm, quiet, the nearby street lamp was illuminating the damp pavement... all over it was completely placid. From nowhere blinding headlights came out from behind us- a streetsweeper was speeding towards us. He shoved me onto the sidewalk, and I turned to grab his hand and help him, too. Just as soon as I did, the sweeper hit him, and I heard a heart-wrenching crunch as I watched his body collapse. Then I saw him thrown around in the sixteen wheels of the truck and I cried out, but he was completely silent during his entire death. Then the truck swung away down a corner, and I leaned over to see him lying mangled in the street in a pool of crimson blood. He looked like he had almost lost his head, it was barely hanging on, but he had just enough left in him to say just once that he loved me before his eyes glazed over and his bloody face was still.

That dream kinda stuck with me. I've never been much of one for all that sickening love stuff, but this wasn't like that. It was just terrible. What the weirdest thing about it was was the fact that I saw myself aged, years from now. I was in my mid-twenties when the guy died in front of me, and I didn't look much different, but I felt a whole lot different. It was one of those dreams that, despite some absurd parts, was so real that I woke up in tears for a person that doesn't exist as far as I know. Does anyone here know how to analyse dreams? I'd like to know what that last one meant. I know that too much water in a dream means that I, subconciously, am feeling like I am drowning, metaphorically speaking. That's the second dream this week that has involved too much water, and normally I don't have dreams at all. At least not the kind I remember in the morning. But this one was just different. I can't get that last picture out of my mind...

Anyways, how about a change of subject? Sounds good. Mmm, I smell turkey. I don't like turkey, it's dry and banal. Ham, now ham is a meat I could go for, but not turkey. I'm looking forward to the potatoes (I usually do every day) and the cranberries and a good Will Ferrel movie. Not to be confused with Colin Farrel.

Well, well, well. I had something kinda happy I wanted to talk about, but all of this talk about nightmares has me off on a mental tangent. Our Lady Peace makes it feel better. They always help. Thanks to Raine and Duncan and Jeremy and Steve! It's amazing how something so seemingly useless as a cd can erase all imperfections from a bad day. I didn't eat breakfast today. I was too busy watching Willy Wonka.

Yes! I finally got the gall to watch the movie in it's entirety. Normally I get too scared and turn it off. That movie, I swear, is the scariest movie I've ever seen next to American Pie. But I can't wait 'till the new Tim Burton version comes out. Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka? That's genius. Absolute genius. Thank you, Tim Burton, for saving that movie.

Oh no! My cd is over! I guess I'll just have to listen to it again (what a shame).

Speakin' of Sean Astin, today "The Goonies" and "Rudy" came on tv at the same time. Not kidding. So I put in the second disk to the Two Towers and watched the short movie he directed instead. I tried watching "The Goonies" once, but I came in too late and it confused me. Not the story line so much as the Chinese kid. I knew I had seen him from somewhere before, I even looked him up online. He was in Indiana Jones! Granted, it was the Temple of Doom, and that was the worst one, but he was still cool in it. Just to let you know...

Well, yeah, I've really got nothing else to talk about. Umm, happy Thanksgiving! Liberté, egalité, et fraternité pour tout le monde!

Au revoir!

And, by the way, the title came from Willy Wonka. I'm never watching the original version again. EVER. EVER EVER EVER. *Shudders* ugh. Scary.

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one thousand embraces

SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24

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