:: Youth & Eternity ::
Well, don't let it go to your head. Your hair's already such a disaster that the Red Cross wouldn't give it coffee!
[2004-01-17 @ 4:12 p.m.]

Hey, all!

Today is, so far, rather uneventful. I cleaned. And, geez, what else did I do? Umm... cleaned. Yep, and I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. I cleaned my mum's room for her. It's a big room! It was also in a state of utter mess, and I owe her dearly for everything ever, so I cleaned it for her. Now the living room is a mess because it's where my brother dwells (since his room is so messy), and now it's got used tissues and emtpy soda cans all over the place.

He said he'd clean it up. Huh, yeah. That'll happen. I'll clean it up after dinner, and then I'll vacuum and dust and take out his dishes because he doesn't "feel good". First off: the word isn't "good", it's "well". Second off: yeah right, get up and do it.

Yep, well. I'm starved. I had a sandwich today! Yep! I'm eating solid food! But it's about two hours to dinner, so I think I can wait before eating any more. Then after dinner, I'll clean some more. Hey, and maybe then I can do some laundry!

I swear, if I don't get famous and have star treatment personal assistants to make up for all of this, I'm going to go postal on someone's hiney.

Hmm, in other news, I still feel sick. My nose is still runny. My muscles still ache. And now my head hurts worse than before because of all that dust I just dived head-first into. Tylenol didn't help. Two extra strength Tylenol didn't help. Tell ya what does help, though! I got to watch a little VH1 after I was done vacuuming. It's so much fun watching gay men make fun of Lara Flynn Boyle's tutu like they've never worn one in public.

Where would I be without my pop culture? Probably better off, yes. I'd probably have a, gasp, life! Haha, that's funny. Well, I am going over to a friend's house tomorrow! Ha! We're gonna go scout out graveyards for a movie we're making. Then we've got a script to write, a storyboard to draw, and radio djs to annoy! I love to annoy djs. Sometimes I get on air, and that's the best time for it.

Ever notice how your recorded voice sounds so different from your regular voice? That seems so weird to me. I don't know the mechanics of it, even if I did have to study the diaphragm and throat and vocal chords for drama once (to help us "project"... I'm naturally loud anyway, the teacher said I was a "natural"). My voice sounds deep to me, but it sounds deeper on tape. Which isn't necessarily good, because I'm a girl. I'm a tall girl, tall and kinda skinny, but I don't have the highest voice. People make sure they tell me, too. "You sound like a dude" is a popular comment. People are so nice, aren't they?

I remember when I was really young, in middle school. I went through some seriously bad teasing from my classmates. I'd come home everyday crying because someone made fun of my braces, or my pale skin, or how tall I am, and my mum would tell me, "They're just jealous." You know what, they really aren't. I'm not the ugliest person in the world (that would be Liv Tyler- ouch), but I realise I'm nothing to be jealous of. I'm tall. And sometimes people think I'm pretty, and tell me so. And sometimes people used to tell me I should model. Sometimes people still do. But, the point is, the kids that picked on me weren't jealous, they were bitter and insecure. There's a difference. I can accept that some people can depend on the humiliation of others, especially in an immature highschool society. Even if the act is subconcious, and the people are unaware of their true motives. But I don't think people made fun of my pale skin because they wanted skin like mine. They sense my weakness, the weakness and vulnerability that sent me home crying every day.

Now when I get made fun of by some people, I just ignore it. It hurts my feelings, but I never cry over it anymore. There will be people making fun of the stuff I wear, I don't care because I like how I dress. There will be people making fun of how I look, but I don't care because there are still people that think I'm pretty. Not many, but enough to use as a crutch when I need support. I don't get bothered as much anymore because I've come to realise that not a one that makes fun of me looks any better anyway. They're all just as bad off.

Yep, I'm really hungry now. Maybe I can eat a little something... no. I'll survive a few hours without food. People survive years without food in Cambodia. Of course, Cambodia also has an alarming death rate. But I'll be fine. I always eat a really big dinner, like my lunch two fold, so I can definetly wait. But I'll wait with a tiny little Hershey's chocolate bar. One of those mini ones... no, if I eat anything, it's healthy. I'm gonna go grab a banana...

So, last time I practiced my cello, I got bored with my new Mozart piece. I, once again, decided to teach myself a few new songs! I can now play the Pirates of the Carribean theme, and the song that Billy Boyd sang as Peregrin Took in Return of the King. I have to steal and translate my brother's copy of the James Bond theme from his clef to mine, because that's a neat song. Then I've got this big book full of pop and rock hits, like Enya and such, to still search through. I love getting new songs for guitar and cello. I like to play my cello more, though. I'm just better at it because I've been playing it longer. And there's not as much paraphernalia required to put emotion into it, like the guitar.

Right, yep. I could go on and on and on, but I won't bore you with the details. My mum is at her classes right now. She has to learn how to sponge-bathe the elderly. She should be getting out in ten minutes. I'm really, really proud of her, and I know I say that a lot.

Oh, and today's title came from Will and Grace. My favourite tv show EVA!

Yup, yup. I really don't have too much to talk about. Life is boring. I wish I could go skydiving. Or parasailing, or zorbing, or iceskating. I used to iceskate, I took lessons for about 7 years. I even have posters of Oksama Baiul and Kristi Yamaguchi, I read and own the autobiography of Michelle Kwan... that was my dream when I was little. Along with acting, and being a fairy princess. I still want to act and be a fairy princess. Who doesn't want to have wings and a little crown? It would be great fun!

I'm on the phone with two people right now. My friend Liz is over at Kelly's house. They're swooning over Boy George and Hugo Weaving. Who doesn't? And I'm listening to Evanescence and them conversing. What fun!

Well, I'm all out of things to type. Toodles!

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one thousand embraces

SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24

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