:: Youth & Eternity ::
...ergo, concordantly, vis a vis...do you know what? I have no idea what the heck I'm saying. I just thought it sounded cool.
[2004-01-19 @ 7:42 p.m.]

That came from an MTV spoof of Matrix Reloaded. Not a bad movie, not good. Stupid Wachowski brothers let down their fans, I'm tellin ya.

Now that I've instilled the fact that I'm a huge loser, moving on!

It's almost time for American Idol! I'm excited because I love the first few episodes the most. That's when all of the terrifically awful people try to sing. I still really, really wish I could see British Idol, instead. The hosts are just soooo cool. But, nooo, we have Ryan Seacrest. Once again, a man who drinks teeth bleach and botox to survive... But the new episode conflicted with a new episode of Spongebob. I'm resolved on American Idol, the latter of the two having multiple reruns, making it quite easy to see again if missed the first run around.

You know, it always feels good to type on here. But, somehow, despite the fact that I'd have to have no shame to post my life online for anyone to read, I still sometimes regret the fact that I incur my written to criticism all over the world. Right now you could be thinking, "This chick sucks. I hate her," and I would never know. Sometimes that bothers me, especially when something's a little personal.

That's just the way it is. I always feel that way about sharing my writing and thoughts. Whether it be with friends or peers or adults, it just feels like I'm setting myself up for a big ol' fat let-down. When I play a test in Orchestra, when I read my journal in AP English... it's all the same! Crazzzy. Actually, I've noticed (and don't think I'm a ham, because I am!) that I feel most comfortable doing that kinda stuff on a stage or up in front of people. Then I feel like I've got the upper-hand, and I feel unreachable by their hate or love. That's a great feeling. I love feeling nervous about that stuff... I'm a weirdo, but when I feel scared about what others think, it makes me feel important. Maybe it's because I've got some level of authority to have work to be presented to others.

Well, anyway, I spent the night at Kelly's house last night. We watched movies and BBC, and blah blah blah. Played with action figures (hey, why not? They'd just sit on my shelf otherwise) in a Council of Agent Elrond. Right, back to the loser... thing... right...

Well, yeah. NOOOO! More spam, no more spam! Stupid Viagra adds...

Well, I'm off to watch Coke commercials with some singing in between. "Welcome to American Idol! I'm your host, Ryan Seacrest. We'll be right back!"


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one thousand embraces

SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24

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