'Ello! I thought that if I didn't get to type an entry on here, I would burst! Burst to a million itty, bitty, eenie, weenie pieces and then scatter on the floor and be blown away by a sudden gust and sent broken into the ocean where I'd float into nothingness.
So, here I am! Typing to you, of course. My beloved reader, highest of all beings, best person on Earth. Or whatever hemisphere you currently stand on. I'm not sure what hemisphere I'm in. Oh well! I just know that one day I shall conquer the western hemisphere, and parts of East Asia. Sorry if that applies to you! A lifetime of servitude to my being won't be that bad.
So, I've been inspired! I'm going to, wait for it, I'm going to make a role-playing diary! Yes, yes I am! The Lady of the Wood has given me the idea! I'm thinkin' Elrond because it would be fun. But I'd also use Frodo pretty quickly, too. So I'm juggling the character ideas a bit. But I'm working on it tomorrow. So, here's my proposition to you (oh so loved and dear readers): make one too, and we'll start a community! My friend, Kelly, is making one! So, here's the deal: Galadriel, Eowyn, and Gollum/Smeagol are taken. I'm thinking about one of the following: Elrond, Pippin, Frodo. So, if you want to join us, please do! It will be grand fun! You don't have to if you don't want to. But then I'll never speak to you again.
Well, so much for being anonymous about that kinda stuff. Err, but I do have a life, believe it or not! I, umm, I went to, wait, no. So I don't. One day I will. I shall control the Western Hemisphere (and East Asia), so, I guess that counts! Wait, is East Asia in the Western Hemisphere? It doesn't matter. And then I'll become Princess of Mexico. I'm not Mexican, I'm not Latin at all, but I don't see why not! I just want to wear a tiara and say the name "Banderas" a lot. It's a cool name, whether you like the actor or not. It's fun to say. Antonio Banderas, Antonio Banderas, Antonio Banderas...
Riiiight. Well, it is fun to say, and I still want to see Evita and Once Upon a Time in Mexico. I only want to the the latter 'cuz of Johnny Depp, and I want to see the first because I like the music. Oh! And Butterfly Effect is out tomorrow. I really, really, really wanna see it. I don't think Ashton Kutcher was the best choice for that role ("Look at me! I can be a dramatic actor because I grew a beard!"), but I can't complain. It still looks really good, despite questionable casting.
And I still, yes I still, have yet to see, the big Burton fanatic that I am, Big Fish. Is that not crazy? I haven't seen it yet! Geez. I've heard from many sources that it was terrible. Those are the people that don't understand Edward Scissorhands, because, ooooh, don't get me started on the chromatic themes throughout that movie. There's only a few people that can sit down and understand, really comprehend, a Burton film, sadly. Everyone else has the attention span of a five-year-old and the imagination of a forty-year-old accountant. C'mon, it's not like it's Polish, black and white, and silent. I hear those are some good films, themselves. Unfortunately, I can never get a hold of 'em because I'm a teenager in a Virginia highschool. CURSES!
And, no, I don't have an accent. A noticible one, anyway. Unless you're from New York. Or the Western Hemisphere.
I never win. Let's see, have I addressed the important topics? Hum, rpg, films, no life... American Idol was good last night... I hate math class... my foot hurts (and I was gellin' today) (yep, I was gellin' like a felon) (want a melon?)... I got nuthin'. Hippocrits irk me. That's right, so stop telling me to "stop complaining and suck it up", people! I get that all the time, and how often do I complain? Don't answer that. I'll tell ya something, people. Whether I'm complaining about college, Spam (the food and the email), or life in general, don't you dare tell me to suck it up. I've been through Minnesota (haha) and back for most of you people. You have no idea how much I sit up and stress over the tiniest of things. I try to help people solve problems with futures and relationships and how they feel about themselves. And most of the time they don't listen to me. So, listen to me now: no more hippocrits!
Yep. That wasn't odd in the least. I don't have any clue as to where that came from, I just felt it needed to be said. But, it being said, I believe I can move on in peace. I can't help but feel a little bad about the fact that I try to help everybody, and I either get no recognition for my help, or my aid is ignored entirely. Maybe I'll just stop worrying about other people. So, nyah!
And speaking of myself, my birtday is coming! So, for a present, tell me that you love me and "happy birthday" and tell me I'll be famous and rule the Western Hemisphere. I'll take material gifts, if you find such a thing fitting to bestow upon my meager existence. But a "happy birthday" will quite suffice, trust me! Or I'll never speak to you again. You will be exiled from the Western Hemisphere and Eastern Asia, and sent to the moon where you either die of human exclusion, starvation, or suffocation (which ever comes first!). Ooooh, why is the 24 on a Saturday? That means I can't have my 1st ever annual "Happy Elijah Wood" celebration. Poopie. Hey, I hafta have some kinda let-up from boring highschool, and if passing out pictures of hot dudes to other obsessive freaks is the way to do it, then, by all means, I'm all over it! I'll have to push it back until Monday. I'll just drive my brother insane with it on Saturday. He hates that guy, and that's where the true fun lies! I'll probably tape a big picture of him right above my brother's bed so when he wakes up, I can listen to the screaming of torture and pain.
And that's how I shall conquer the Western Hemisphere and Eastern Asia. You know, I don't think I want Siberia. No, that's where I'll send John Mayer and Shania Twain and Liv Tyler and all those that oppose my rule or like any of the aforementioned people.
And I don't need any medical attention for this "insanity" thing. It's not like I'm always curled in the fetal position plotting my world domination in a dark, damp corner. That reminds me of a Flogging Molly song. Guess what I did this morning? I shook it like a polaroid picture whilst blowdrying my hair to Jet's "Will You Be My Girl". Australians do everything best! Curses. But it's an awesome song! Wet hair was flying and I was jumping up and down. I have really long hair, and it was semi-dry, and I was in my pjs! It was grand fun! I'll have to make it a daily occurance, provided that VH1 plays it everyday from here until I die. Keep your fingers crossed, yeah?
Right. Yep. See! I told you I had a life. It just equates to dancing in my pajamas (a black tank-top and light yellow pants from Victoria's Secret, nothing more comfy!) and watching a whole lotta movies with hot guys in them.
Well, I've still got some homework to do, and I feel like watching American Idol again. I always feel like watching that show, actually. So, I'd best be off!
And the title came from SNL. In celebration of Saturday. Like I said, I have to have something to look forward to, even if it's a pointless celebration without any significant impact on the outside world. The world outside that dark, damp corner where I plot my domination. Of the Western Hemisphere and East Asia.