Geez, this has been a lengthy weekend.
I went over to Kelly's house, and we watched some movies (including Once Upon a Time in Mexico [which was supposed to be an Antonio Banderas movie, but, like most Johnny Depp films, ended up completely revolving around one said Johnny Depp... ahhh...] and Nightmare Before Christmas [Tim Burton, man... ahhh...]) and britcoms on BBC America. Mum kept sending us emails about how gay Elijah Wood is, just to keep an eye on what I was doing. She sent us this article: "Elijah was blown away by Madenleine and would do anything to see her again." Still, others wonder if this mystery girl is a move to cover up something else. In fact, gay E! Online gossip writer Ted Casablanca recently wrote, "Tongues are waggin' about the cozy gang from the Oscar-nom-anointed Lord of the Rings. It seems Orlando Bloom, Viggo Mortensen, Elijah Wood, Dominic Monaghan, Billy Boyd and Sean Astin are quite chummy with one another." Whatever the case, he does believe in true love, revealing in an online chat, "Of course I do! I wouldn't be a hopeless romantic if I didn't. I'm a sucker for romantic films, I cry like a child! For people who are hopeless romantics, Love Jones is a wonderful film. Of course, so is 'When Harry Met Sally'. Everyone sheds a tear." Hardyharhar, Mum. Need I remind you that your belovéd Johnny Depp loves Gone With The Wind? And everyone loves Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks movies, they're the artificial sweetner of America! Geez.
I personally had to go, "Awww! How cute! In a weird kinda way..." Oh well. And in other news, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is out next week, and I can't wait! Besides the obvious draw, I really, really, really want to see how the cinematography is handled. The majority of the movie takes place within Jim Carrey's character's mind. That had to be a doozy to direct! I saw a bit of a bit of a trailer where there was a bed in the middle of what looked like a barren, frozen wasteland, bitter freezing winds ravaging Carrey and Winslet in a dream sequence. That has to be pretty good.
It's weird. A year ago I wasn't much of a movie person, believe it or not. Well, no, I've always loved movies. I just had other concerns (aka, punk stuff was in, and I was all about brooding over a guitar). Now college quickly approaches and everyone is settling into the ideas of their banal, boring, blan future jobs as accountants, lawyers, and blahblahblah, and I decided that if I had to work in an office, I'd go postal. And if I worked in a Postal Office, that would just make it ironic. I figure life is too short and much too unsatisfying to just accept a dull plan. I love art, music, literature, theatre, and film. I see film as the perfect combination of every art form all into one moving masterpiece, deserving interpretation, colour scheme, sound tracks, and the best acting all around. I don't know why, but I just love it. I pick apart everything in a movie when I watch it. I can tell a lot about directors by watching a movie, and I love, most of all, understanding the actors in a movie. I can easily pick out ones that aren't very strong in their parts, and I love to analyse every detail of the good ones. I think you'd have to be pretty talented to capture a normal conversation in less than normal circumstances. You see, to make myself cry isn't that hard. If I practised more often I'd be quicker with it, but I can do it just the same. But my favourite part of an act isn't when someone breaks down and shows an extreme emotion, it's when they're merely asking for a cigarette. It's hard to do that with an audience looking at you, or a camera taping your mistakes. It's much harder than quailing under the knowledge of a passed love one or something. I don't know quite why, but it is.
Err, I just spent that entire paragraph telling you that I'm a loser. Hello, my name is Weenie, and I'm a loser! Actually, the kids in preschool used to call me Amanda Panda, and I'd cry every single day. I couldn't take it! You know what it really was? I just wanted to show my acting range. No, but seriously, folks, preschoolers are evil. Just unforgiving and relentless little monsters. But I love kids! Not cats, but I love kids!
And that's another weird thing. I've been bitten by dogs a lot more than clawed by cats. My lesbian dog, Peppermint (closely resembling Marilyn Manson, too), once bit my face. I still have a tiny (and thankfully) barely see-able scar on my cheek. But I love dogs, I think I'll always have a pet dog for my entire life, but I can't stand cats. Well, that's not entirely true, I met one cat that I liked a lot, named Salem, but she was declawed and I only kept her for a week before her old owners realised that their baby wasn't allergic to Salem but her flea-medicine instead. And on another quite tangent, I completely forgot how to spell medicine and could only think of the French word for doctor, "medecin", not to be confused with "daifu", Chinese for doctor.
Ni hao! Nide daifu hao ma?
I couldn't fit the accents on, but that was Chinese. Well, pinyin anyway (Chinese without the characters, because the Chinese don't have an alphabet, they use different symbols for every word). I still want to get back to my roots and learn Irish Gaelic. There are so many things I want to do while I'm still in highschool or while I'm at college. I want to learn to play piano, uillean pipes, bagpipes, and harp, to speak better Chinese, Irish Gaelic, and to break-dance and River Dance and I want to learn how to turn tables. You know, turn tables. I just think it would be great fun, and I'd love to be able to learn it and turn tables at a club, just once. Then I'd feel accomplished, eh?
I hereby and thenceforth decree that as of this moment my life is complete for I have turned tables for a loving crowd, and made them shake it like Polaroid Pictures, all in their entirety!
Which, by the way, the Polaroid Company was recently seen on the news about the subject of that line in the Outkast song, "Hey Ya" (see also: "shake shake shake shake it, shake it like a Polaroid Picture, hey ya!"). Please, people, do not shake your Polaroid Picture. It is a hazard to the outcome of the photograph for the chemicals on the surface must dry before disturbed. Please, let this be a public service announcement, wait to shake it like a Polaroid Picture only after the Polaroid Picture is fully dry and developed. Thank you.
Oh. My. Gah. I've never really liked Ben Affleck, you know this, right? Well, I officially love him. Well, not love love, but I think he's on the cool list. Last night he hosted Saturday Night Live (ahh! Love that show!), and it had to be one of the best episodes ever! Not the best, but one of the best, most definetly. The first skit he played the man from the Boston Redsox, and he kissed Seth Myers. It was AWESOME! It was just so funny to see macho mister Ben Affleck kiss another man. No one could keep a straight face afterwards. But then his opening monologue was seriously absolutely wonderful! He started talking about Jersey Girl and he said something like, "I don't know if any of you have heard, but I was dating Jennifer Lopez." Haha! Then he went off on this "Bennifer" thing. "Come on! It's not that hard to say two names! Bennifer! Ben and Jennifer! It doesn't save you that much time!" Then he said that he had a great idea to bank on the movement, and he had millions of "Bennifer" tee-shirts printed. Unfortunately, they came after the breakup, so he planned ahead for next time, pulling out also shirts saying, "Benyoncé" (Beyoncé Knowles), "Boprah" (Oprah Winfrey because "she's lookin' pretty good lately"), "Mary Kate and Ashleck" (Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen), and the best of the best "Ben-Gay" ("It could be for Marcia Gay Harden... or, you never know when Matt [Damon]'s gonna come around").
I reiterate. Oh. My. Gah. Thank you for your acceptance of such a big thing, and then humour about it, Bennif... I mean, Ben Affleck. Jennifer Lopez wouldn't have done the same, that's what gets me the most.
It's sad when something so little brightens up your day. Oh! Almost St. Patty's Day! I can't wait! Mum's cookin' up her famous Irish meals. Not that we don't eat them at other times of the year, being Irish, but it's a big deal. Toodles!
Oh, and today's title is via Karen Walker. AHH! I want to be Karen Walker. Toodles!