:: Youth & Eternity ::
[2004-04-11 @ 8:52 p.m.]

Geez. No more food for me. Ham and fruits and ham and bread and ham and potatoes and ham and ham and ham... ohh... I don't think I'll ever watch Babe again.

I guess it's a good thing I jogged on my Mum's treadmill, even if it was only a mile. The worst thing is: I'm going shopping tomorrow. I was invited to go get sushi with some friends, but I don't eat sushi. I tried, and the raw fish part wasn't bad (I could eat sashimi without a hitch), but the seaweed was just disgusting! So, she'll have to do without me. There are supposed to be other people going anyway, I hope they all show up, because I don't think that I can. After my shopping trip, I'm bound to house duty. Must clean... must clean... *twitches* Some guy's coming to paint our house, and it needs to be clean when he gets here. Plus, the sooner it's clean, the sooner we get digital cable so I can watch BBC! Hooray for British programming!

Since the hurricane, my room's been packed in plastic bags and locked away in my big closet. All of my porcelain dolls from Holland and Norway need to be dusted and put back on my shelves, and my 200-some Beanie Babies need to be properly displayed again (I think I'll have those things forever, they're too hard to get rid of). I need to shake out all of my Dickens books (my Tolkien collection [consisting of a whole two books, gasp] sits by my bed) and put them back, along with all of my ripped up magazines from collages and drawings I've done over the years. Old binders need to be thrown away, and the big trunks from my mum's room need to be emptied and stored. And it might be nice to be able to see my brother's floor. I suppose I'll be the one to clean his room, then, since Mum's not feeling well and he's too afraid to. I don't blame him. I'm sure there are all sorts of unidentified living organisms in there, just waiting to kill any small passing mammal for nourishment.

Life is slow. And boring. I wish that I were doing something... different, I guess. I feel really sorry for anyone that sticks with me when I go off on my own, I expect I'll never do the same thing twice. The only problem with that kind of a lifestyle is there is no norm to break, the fun of doing something new may be diminished. But, all the same, I constantly feel like I'm a bottled energy just waiting to be let loose to reek havouc on the world. It's weird to meet conservative girls my age who want to grow up and get married and have children because I'm not like that at all. I feel a little more, I dunno, unsettled, than that. I feel like I'd be trapped in a domestic situation, that I need to be self-sufficient and make my own ends. I guess the feeling's inexplicable, so if I sound like a crazy, just nod patiently and ignore me. It's what everyone else does.

So! In other news! Yes! Out of sheer boredom and curiosity, I joined Council of Elrond last night (which is weird, because so did Sarah [and I'm still adjusting your layout, by the way... I've got a neat-o idea, it'll just take me a little while]), I'm now and forever known as 2ndbreakfast. Which does not sound good to me right now *groan*. No more food, please! So I went through and made up captions for all these pictures (one Frodo was holding his Sting and looking at it, and I wrote, "So, Bilbo, you're telling me that if this thing glows blue, then I'm pregnant? Yes? No?", another was Pippin and Merry being squeezed my Treebeard and I wrote, "When we said we weren't tree-lovers, I meant that, uhh, we're not Gigli-lovers... right, Merry? Right?", another was entitled "Riddles in the Dark", and was of Gollum pointing at Bilbo, and I wrote, "Bilbo, since you didn't show strength as a leader, and you didn't show strength in the Board Room, I have no choice... you're fired." Get it? The Apprentice?... wait, no, I made it so Gollum was addressing Frodo, that's not right... oops, oh well!). You get the point. I have a lot of spare time and not a lot of stuff to do with it.

However, I am planning on painting the Taj Mahal. As soon as I find my spare canvas, that is. It's someplace in my room (is this a reoccurring theme?). I've got a lot of blue acrylic left, so I'm making it with a purple tinted sky, and the building looks almost red, like the sun is setting. You get what I mean, right? Ever since my freshman year I've been able to draw the Taj Mahal. I got it down to perfection in three hours, which isn't bad at all. But those are usually paper-size, this canvas isn't big, but it's bigger than paper. So this might take me awhile more. I've always liked drawing, drawing and music and acting. And I like film because it's all three.

As a matter of fact, last night I stayed up 'till midnight watching a local student-film from a North Carolina university because one day I'll be in that situation. I was surprised, because I thought it would be better than what it was. I guess the plot had a good premise, but it ended up going nowhere. You see, these two women had to go through a dead author's apartment to write , and all of these secrets of murder and betrayal started to unravel as they sifted through the old junk. See? It was interesting. But the ending was terrible. Turns out the author didn't kill this one guy, that her editor did and then the editor threatened to kill the biographer and then it ended. The acting was stale, almost as stale as the dialogue, and it just ended up a waste of time. I sorta think of the film genre as every art form combined, dance in the movement of the acting (fighting and kissing and eating are all choreographed), acting (of course), and every scene should be treated like a painting, I think. I like movies that you can pause at any one point, and just the backround and the expressions and positions of the actors should be able to tell a story. And the music can be timed and built in such a way that it builds suspense where there wasn't before, or it makes a scene more touching, or it makes the air more eerie. A broken piano solo at the end here, a fiddle tune there... I'm rambling again, aren't I?

I'M SUCH A LLLOOOOOOSSSEEERRR! I have no life, and I doubt that I ever will. And this entire entry was not only a waste of your time, but a waste of mine. I suppose I'll have to sign off and go look for that canvas again. My arms had better be covered in paint by the end of the day, or I'll feel as though I've accomplished nothing.

And happy Resurrection Sunday. Today is not about easter bunnies (as fun as they are) because today Jesus rose from the dead, becoming our salvation. He's what lets me dream, and what will make my dreams come true!

And MTV's "I Want A Famous Face" is oddly addicting. I just watched this one girl who wanted to look like Kate Winslet. I just don't understand. See, when I saw Titanic, I was bored out of my mind, but I thought Kate Winslet was incredibly pretty. But then I saw her outside of the movie, and she was hideous. And then I saw Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine (well, the trailers anyway, no one will take me to see it because everyone says it looks stupid... coughcoughcrazycoughcough)(I'm seventeen and can get in, but no one will drive me and I don't want to go alone... please, Mum? Please? It'll make up for the birthday dinner I never had!), and she was really pretty (I used to have pink hair, too). But then I saw her at the premiere, and she was hideous. And I see her on magazine covers, and she's beautiful, and then I see her walking down the street on tv, and she looks like a regular, every day Joe Schmo. I don't get it!

Well, that's enough (obviously). Toodles!

And the title comes from Spam commercials. Because the world is random, so why can't potted meat be random too?

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one thousand embraces

SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24

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