:: Youth & Eternity ::
Hold my drink, kid. And I know how much is in it, so no sippies.
[2004-05-03 @ 6:50 p.m.]

Apparently some people take themselves much too seriously.

If you read my previous entry, you've recognised that I'm pretty darn motivated in what I believe in. But, I may as well give you the reason I typed it. There's a lovely young lady in England called Leggierox who prompted my argument. She happens to think that every single insult I threw was aimed at her. Honey, I'm glad that you think that you're the only person who's ever been anti-war, and that my days are consumed by your existence, but I'm going to have to hurt you here, you don't make my world go 'round. First off, most of my comments weren't directed at you because you aren't the only person I've heard this stuff from, and I was going to be kind and UN-SLANDEROUS and not name names by singling you out. Might I say that I think you are being firstly quite unethical by naming me in your diary, because you've just discredited my name to many other people who've never met me before. I think that you are one of the rare people I could converse with on a higher level, and that it's been a delight reading what you've got to say, it's just too bad it was on this subject because I completely disagree with you.

You must think that all Americans are like I am, supporting our government like war-mongering criminals. Actually, I'm very much outnumbered (try not to cheer too much). My newspapers, radio stations, and television programs are overtly anti-war and anti-Bush. But you took being Anti-Bush to a new level. You weren't just anti-Bush, you were Anti-American. Of course I'm going to be offended. Now, you said that you write in a "diary," and yes, you are entitled to your own opinions, that is what diaries are for. But when you type about something controversial like this, you solicit yourself to opposition. Because like it or not, your diary is a public diary, everyone and anyone can read it at any given time. But still, you seem to think that you're the only one who thinks the way you do, and you think that you're making some great strive in the anti-war cause.

I'm against war. I'm against killing in all its forms. But the Bible even defends some forms of war if the name of humanity is at stake. You know what? I'm aware that America fed the Middle East weapons. Do you know why? Because there's a constant pressure on this country by people like you within its own borders to do so. There is no such thing as isolationism in America. If we aren't helping somebody, then we're under a serious threat. America is always an enemy, we're always a problem because we're a "young country", we're "inexperienced." So, to live up to the label that other countries have placed on us, we have to feed and shelter and protect others. Under that kind of pressure, and not knowing what was going to happen in a few years (how was anyone to anticipate who Saddam was?), we fed weapons to our future enemy. A terrible mistake, but simply a mistake nonetheless.

You think that I called you (once again, the specific you) "ignorant," you think you've got me in a tighthold because you believe that I can't possibly know what's going on without seeing those pictures. I'll tell you what those pictures are. They're the few examples of a couple of bad soliders out of a MASSIVE army. They're the few examples out of millions of good ones that your belovéd newspaper feeds you because your belovéd newspaper doesn't like America. And you realise that not only that handful of Americans are the ones with ill morals, because not only Americans are the ones fighting. But to become so decidedly anti-American because of a very small number of people that could've easily been from your own country, is so naïve that it could only be called "ignorance."

But as I stated to you in my final note, my attacks were not all addressed at you. To "attack a leader on their own soil" was addressed to the exact reason that I didn't succumb to your already faulty argument. I addressed that issue to the media of my own country. Such influential people as Katie Couric and Matt Lauer all the way down to our own movie stars at Hollywood, don't like George Bush. They don't like the war. And they've argued it to the point that they've become that cliché that you've fallen into, my dear friend, that it's to an Anti-American stand-point. I can see how you think my attacks were aimed at you, and I'm actually quite glad you think so, because it means you're taking my words to heart, but nothing you said to me was original, all fueled by whatever anti-war propaganda your newpaper is going to feed you. You were driven by pathos without any ethological support. I may never have seen the pictures, but I've heard first-hand accounts of exactly what's going on over there. It's not widespread, and whoever you're listening to is miscontruing the idea that it's a much larger problem that it is. I can guarantee you that whatever the situation is over there, it's a lot better than it could have been had we not intervened.

And one more thing, there's no way that George Bush won because of Jeb and his daddy. The media played out the last election like you wouldn't believe, the country was deadlocked between Al Gore and George Bush, and for weeks we didn't have a president. This was another prime example of the media, they were completely open about how much they hated Bush, and why he couldn't win in a million years because he was the son of the ex-president. But, you have to remember, his opponent was the ex-vice president, he stood just as much a fair chance, if not better, because of that fact. And everyone really thought George Bush was going to lose. Everyone really did. I don't think his father is what made him win, not even the ballots in Florida. I think the reason he won was because, despite the media, he was a strong Christian and Gore was not. But again media took it into a point where it became a literal controversy where it shouldn't have been. And part of the reason I like my president so much is because of his religious fundamentals.

And you're never going to see it my way because you're just like me, hard set in your ways. But I figure one more defense isn't going to hurt my cause, and maybe I need to be a bit more ethos driven myself. It's just that, girl, if you attack my country, the people I've been raised by, the people I've been taught by, the people I've known all my life and the people that are dying for me every day, I'm going to become more than a little angry about it.

Well, now that that's over, I'm quite happy that I got to have an intelligent political debate! It's just a lot harder to be a Bush-supporter than a Bush-critic, even over here. Now I'm a bit afraid to apply to foreign schools for college. I was thinking about a London University I've been hearing about because of its drama department, and a school in Melbourne that some of the bestest people in the world attended (ahem, my hero Cate Blanchett), but I'm afraid, quite frankly, of the animosity I'll receive. I guess it's a good thing I can fake an accent well, huh?

So, my brain is racked. Today was my lovely AP English test. Lovely in every sense of the word. I arrived two hours earlier than usual to school, and the teacher, Mr. D, bought us some great food. Croissants and cereal bars and coffee and orange juice and neat little pastries and healthy fruits were the order of the morning! Quite a change from the usual Spongebob Squarepants cereal (way to carbo-load, Amanda!). And we looked through Oprah Magazine, because it was there, and why not? Then we whipped out our umbrellas (it was a torrential downpour only matched by the apocalypse!) and waited outside the portables (the ones that smell like old Christmas trees and dead mice) for fifteen minutes. In the rain. And my unbrella was broken. In the freezing rain. Not fun. So we ran back inside and waited. For another fifteen minutes. And then the portable was open, and I started to run to get there. But as I was crossing the street my orchestra teacher (bah bah bah, dramatic reverb) pulled out in front of me as fast as he could with a sneer on his ugly lips. He saw me crossing. He didn't care. He saw me and he let me know he saw me. In essence he said to me right then and right there, once and for all, "I hate you." I'm waiting for him to snap one day and stab me with his batton, the jerk. So then I continued to run with a smirk on my face (knowing that I didn't have to go to his class today, haha, what a surprise when he didn't see me in my condemned chair, he must've thought I skipped class!), and I was the first one in. So the test was administered a little late, but I guess it didn't matter, we just took it anyway. I could've sworn it was against the law...

All in all I was surprised at the easiness of the hour-long multiple choice section. There were a few more passages to be analysed than usual, but I finished with ten minutes to spare. Then Kelly and I ran to get 3 Musketeers Bars and Skittles from a snack machine inside (and to hit the dunny, an hour after cups full of orange juice was murder). Chocolate eaten before a test is a proven help. The carbs in it are stretched out longer than most sugars. I should know after all those diabetes seminars! So then we took the two-hour essay section. My favourite part, yipee! I think I rocked their socks off. One was an analysis of rhetoric, one was an analysis of comparison, and there was supposed to be one where we support or qualify a given passage with our own experiences. It wasn't there! They said, basically, to pick our own topic of high controversy and construct our own argument! Guess what I picked? No, not the war. I picked feminism! I basically wrote what I wrote in an English journal entry, and I have to say, it was very good. I don't usually say that, but I'm confident that it was a good paper. Do you know what? In my next entry I'll type that English journal bit that I was telling you about, and you can tell me what you thought. There were some changes made, but I still cracked two jokes about Donald Trump's hair. And I think it made a good, positive statement about women. It's one of my favourite topics, I think. Especially since one day I'll be famous... okay, that doesn't equate, but you know.

So then another girl (she's the one that tied with me on the French Exam, she's a sweetheart!) and I rushed up to Physics class for our test. Everyone else got to leave school right after the exam, but if you miss one of Mrs. H's tests, she gives you an impassible make-up test. I actually consider her regular tests to be impassible (not everything can be as fun as English). So she asked why we were an hour late, and I said, "We feel obligated to take your test because we love you so much." Everyone laughed because not even my acting can possibly cover up that lie. I'm sure she's a great lady, she seems awfully interesting, but I don't like her teaching habits very much. And if I'm gonna go to third bell, I may as well go to fourth: English. It turns out that EVERYONE had left, everyone but Kelly and me. So Mr. D said he had other things he had to do, and sent us to our future English teacher (for Advanced Placement next year), and we reviewed some books that we've either never read or read two years before with a class that regarded us as five-year-olds. But she was nice to us after everyone had left. She seems to love the dramatic aspect of a good story (I don't really think The Awakening was very good, more like a regurgitation of Anna Karenin by Tolstoy, though I much respect Chopin), she was very into the quoting of the stories.

Whew, what a day. I wish I cold just stop going to school, and let the flavour of this day thouroughly soak into my psyche to be forever engrained. The good, the bad, the ugly... the pure fun and enjoyment of knowing you passed a tough exam. It's just great. I do feel a bit tired though *yawn* after being awake for so many hours in one day. I wish I had studied a bit harder for that Physics test, though... I couldn't think of how to derive volume from weight and apparent weight for the life of me. I'd better shape up, Columbia doesn't like slackers.

Thanks, Lianne, for the great fun of argument. I hope that any further discussion between us shall not be scarred by such opposing views! It hasn't stopped me from talking to some other people... scowl... Kelly... (tax cuts are good things, Kelly, good things!). And in case anyone cared to know, I found this superb pair of golden slippers in my closet. I've never run across anything like them. I think they were from that short modeling stint I pulled... never again shall I be beguiled into such things by, "But you're so tall and thin!" It's a pain in the butt.

Today's title is from Will & Grace.

Hugs, not drugs.

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one thousand embraces

SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24

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