Life feels flat. It's like the world. There are no other parts of it that I can see, so how can it be anything but flat? It's boring. It's depressing. It's fizzled out and flat.
Great news! My physics grade (which is already bad enough) is only going to go down! Because I, as well as over 9/10 of the rest of the class, failed the last test! And if that doesn't make life too bad, I still feel so sick that I want to cry. Actually, I just want to cry anyway.
Over the weekend I was so sick that I swore I had lymes disease! Well, that last Joan of Arcadia episode didn't help, the one where she got lymes disease. See, in my crazed mind, I turned a heat rash and sore throat and volatile tummy-ache into a disastor from all those ticks I've been finding on my arms and hips lately. They must be falling out of the trees as I walk by, because I can't get rid of them. At least I never jump to any conclusions... Oh, and that was a creepy episode. I told my dad via telephone that I'd love to talk to God, and he said that was just scary. It's scary when you think you're talking to God and it turns out to be Satan, but it can't be that scary talking to God. In the show, He poses some very astoot and poignant questions! I'm not creative enough to think like that on my own.
Orchestra sucks. It always does nowadays. And English was boring and long. I have to analyse my diary. Weee.
So, every year my school has this thing where all of the teachers pick "Student of the Year" for every class. Example: Joe Schmo is Latin Two student of the year! Apparently I'm not good enough to be Joe Schmo. I didn't get my hopes up, but I did think I stood a chance for either French 4 or Ceramics 1. I may not be the best french speaker to cross the Earth, but I was the best in my class, my grades were the highest, I placed the highest in my school at a competition, I always had to help others understand it too, my teachers and peers were always telling me that I'm a great French student, and it's not me being cocky, it's just me being real. I think I deserved something because of it besides a lot of lost time and effort. Guess not. And my projects are the most creative in Ceramics, once again, that's not me being cocky, that's me being real. I am a good art student, I just am. Everything I make is up to par, if not better than what everyone else makes. I guess it's because everything I make is "different", I'm not "tortured" like everyone else. I do happy things with my art. I scuplt Ramses instead of severed heads. I paint roses instead of killer clowns. I'm sorry that I'm different, but that's no reason that I should be excluded.
Okay, I know there's an unspoken rule that things that are different shouldn't be judged on equal levels. But in this case, I think my stuff is always automatically cut from the running because of it. You can think you're an individual because you're goth or punk, the "tortured" people, but you're truly the same as everyone else. And I'm the odd one out. My scuplting, my drawing, my painting, and my writing are always different, and therefore never good enough. The only thing I've never had that problem with is acting. There are too many differences in acting, and that's why it's good for me.
Which leads me to what I believe should be my last topic of the day. Orlando Bloom. Why? Why do you all love him? Sure, he's purdy. There are a lot of good looking guys in the world. But why Orlando Bloom? Okay. Put any Orlando Bloom movie on your tv. Right now. Yes! You! Now, when he has a close up, pause it. Remember what he looks like and what he sounds like. Good. Engrain it into your retinas. Good. Now, put on another Orlando Bloom movie. Pause it at a close up. Seem familiar? If not, then you're blind. All of his characters are the same exact thing. I've got a name for him. He is a model actor. No, not an actor that others should model themselves after. He is a model of an actor. He poses. He poses whenever he talks like he poses for a magazine shoot. He can't act, but he can model. When you see him as Will Turner, who do you see? You see Orlando Bloom with a nice bit of facial hair. Look at Johnny Depp as Ed Wood (or anyone else he's played). Who do you see? You see Ed Wood. Orlando Bloom will always be Orlando Bloom. Real actors are their characters. Orlando Bloom as Legolas is Orlando Bloom with a wig on, Sir Ian McKellen as Gandalf is Gandalf (happy birthday, Sir Ian McKellen!)(and Mike Myers!). And Mike Myers in Austin Powers has played Austin, Fat *%&^#@!, Dr. Evil, and Goldmember. Someone else had to point that out during the credits, or else I'd never have known because he's that good. But when Orlando Bloom "acts", he's really just Orlando Bloom. Let me put it this way, he never does anything different with his characters. Seeing his characters is just like seeing him talking in an interview. There's no differences. That's why he's not a good actor. He's eye candy. But he's no good. There, I've made myself clear. That is a warning to Orlando: change your characters to match their personalities, not yours. You're boring. No one cares about you. We all like Legolas and Will Turner and Paris.
Just listen to me. One day you'll get it, too. I didn't used to think that way until I took acting lessons.
To sum up the rest of my life: I have to see a doctor about the moles on my arms, legs, and face (I have this one that's a lot like Eric McCormick's, smack dab in the middle of my left cheek), I hate school, I need caffiene, I still feel sick, I wasn't invited to the French dinner for National French Honour Society (left out again), and I feel very unloved. Oh, and I haven't bought ROTK yet. I was supposed to get it today, but I probably won't get it until Sunday or so. That's not making me feel any happier. I was really counting on it to boost my spirits. I guess I'll just have to cry into my diet caffienated Pepsi over french, physics, ceramics, and my utter lack of ROTK.
*Sob*
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