:: Youth & Eternity ::
Well, I don't need a calendar. When my pills run out, I just go back to Pharmacist.
[2004-08-09 @ 7:29 p.m.]

Wow-eee. Life is fun! Right?

Well, maybe not. I've been practising my tin whistle! Unfortunately, my family doesn't like it. But I'm gettin' pretty good. I can play Christmas carols and little Irish jigs... my whistle was made in Ireland, and came with a nif-tay little book and everything. It only has six holes, and it's in D, but you'd be surprised at how many notes it can crank out. Nearly two full octaves, but if you try hard enough, you can get it to go almost three octaves high. Granted, you can break the glass in your windows at that pitch, but it's fun nonetheless. I got my sweet little whistle at Busch Gardens, believe it or not. So just add another instrument to the list! I love playing that thing. It's so tiny I can fit it in my purse.

Well, one of my purses. I don't believe I've ever really mentioned in full my affinity for the things, purses. I have so many... It'd surprise you. I do just adore purses, any kind, any shape... well, almost any kind and shape. I just bought a new one from Target today, they've got sweet little purses for under fifteen dollars. I bought one with a little dog in a raincoat on the front, it's so sweet! And now I've got something to match any yellow outfits I wear (which I don't wear yellow, since I've got red hair, and it can sometimes clash... or look cute, it depends on the shade of yellow!). Anyway, this entire paragraph is shallow and superficial, but it was needed. Oh! And I bought some Nearly Naked foundation and blush from Almay, terrific stuff! Doesn't feel like you're wearing makeup at all! Aaand I got a new pink lunchbox, it looks kinda like an old bowling bag from the 50's. I think I'll jazz it up a bit with some stuff... I don't know why I'm going through a pink phase, though. Blue is my favourite colour...

Anyway, back to my day. I also went to the community college with Mum so she could look at textbooks for her classes. Hmm... I'm really excited about college. I was thinking though, I'll go into the city for classes every day, because every day my dad goes into the city for work (I'm talking New York City, here). He's at work all day, though. So when classes end, I've got a bunch of time to kill. Meaning in coffee shops with artsy friends. I can't wait! Highschool bothers me, it bothers me a lot. Before school every single morning I get sick to my stomach, I'm a nervous wreck. And I'm a nervous wreck all day until I get home. And when I go to bed, I get nervous about the next day, and I fall back into the cycle. I don't think college will be the same way. I don't have to befriend anyone in college. All I have to do is walk into a class every day, take notes, and leave. With the exception of theatre, that's what every class will be like, and there's only usually one class a day. So I don't have to know anyone that I don't want to know. And that's what bothers me about highschool: the people. So I can just chill at a coffee shop and study. I'll need friends in the city, though, because of the safety in numbers thing, so I don't get mugged or killed or anything. And I can take the tube to China Town or the Irish section and just walk all around and do what I want and save up money and shop and... I can't wait. I might get to go to NY this Christmas, see the Metropolitan all lit up, skate on the plaza... Maybe even make connections before I get there! Dad said I can start planning my classes with a Columbia couselour, too.

I feel kinda like maybe my life will start going right. You know? Life hasn't been to easy for me, or for anybody in my family, especially my mum and my brother. But I've got a lovely feeling that I'll do something special, and I might be able to end their problems. Even if all my dreams come true, I'll have some problems, if not more because that's what always seems to happen, but I think I'll have the strength to overcome. My dad told my mum that she can't go to school anymore, once she finishes her four year degree. He says that she has to get a job as soon as she's done until my brother finishes college (he's 14 for heaven's sake), he plans on working her to her grave. I hope that I'm making enough money of my own soon enough so I can get her her own house and her own life. I told her I'd buy her a house in Ireland, and I'm going to. I think I want a house in Ireland... that'd be wonderful... so I could be misanthropic and distrustful on a beautiful countryside, with rolling and sloping green hills and sheep. Yep, sheep. What other animals does Ireland have? Sheep dogs! And birds. Scotland has a breed of deer that eat birds. That's kinda... sad, but funny in a way. Like who could see Bambi eating a bird? Does the UK have any insect life? GOOGLE! ...hmm... looks like some forests have stag beetles... and there are dragonflies... and butterflies.

Lucky you people. No mosquitoes? Do you have wasps and nasty yellowjackets and bees? If not then you're lucky. And that'd be enough for me to pack my bags and move there. And John Kerry is a good pushing factor too. Kelly said that he changed his last name so it would sound more Irish than Jewish. So he's an anti-Semite too. (That was sarcasm... sorta)

You know, I was thinking that John Kerry had this election by the throat. I was very upset about that, but I really thought so. But then I saw the latest poll that shows George Bush as in the lead. And I'm hearing more and more in the media about how George Bush is better than Kerry... about how some Kerry's war-friends are telling everyone about how he didn't really deserve the honours that he was granted in 'Nam. Sure, George Bush has an interesting take on the English language, but everyone needs a little comic relief in politics. I think that he's the best guy for the job, I really do. Out of almost all of my friends, I think I'm one of the few conservatives. It's too easy to be liberal. Just too easy. I'd explain it, but you're probably either not American or you don't care!

I went kinda berserk on another website I belonged to... yikes. I quit it, but I quit it with a bang. People were just downright mean to me, no matter how nice I was. Not everybody, but almost everybody. And I was completely ignored. I'd write something about a topic, and then someone else would write the same thing in different words, and people would praise the wanna-be and I'd get nuthin'. It was a Lord of the Rings fansite, and as part of this 1/8th life crisis I'm caught up in, I'm realising that there are more important things in the world than someone else's idea. So I wrote that all these people are wasting their talents on a story that's already been written, and think about it, it's honestly true. But I'm getting these replies that it's not a waste of talent, but a building tool. No, it's digging a pit. Think about it, you're not creating your own characters, you're falling into someone else's cozy little story. If you wanted to build your writing skills, build it on your own idea. There are people learning a made-up language, people in their forties dressing up like elves every single day... it's okay to like something, it's wonderful to be a fan, but GET A LIFE! So, I went postal. That's okay, I'm not returning. I just wanted to be accepted and I got nuthin'. A few wonderful friends, but nuthin' besides. And I've probably offended them all, so that's fine. Either way I'm still gonna live my own life, and they'll all be stuck without one. Agree or disagree, I don't care.

I'm FREE! FREER THAN FREE! I'm like a SUPER-FREEK! Haha... that was like a... really bad double entendre.

I want some salted crackers and brie. Toodles!

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one thousand embraces

SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24

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