:: Youth & Eternity ::
Psh, kids these days are so weird. You know, when I was a kid, we couldn't WAIT to hang out with the local insensitive drunk.
[2004-09-10 @ 9:27 p.m.]

Oh. School. Homework. Sleep. And no time to eat or think. Which is fine, because I don't know what it is, but I'm just not hungry. Tonight at dinner, I had a sandwich. That's it. Normally I have salad, but this time, no! And I drank a bottle of water. I'm, like, drinking healthy drinks. Not soda! Dear heavens, this could be a breakthrough.

Oh! Yay! My mum got my brother and I a big set of encyclopedias for school, and I've been learning the coolest things! For instance, the countries of Australia and America are almost the same size! Everytime I see maps, they're so wildly disproportioned that Australia looks half the size it really is. And France is about the size of... Texas? No, maybe it's about the size of the state I live in, Virginia. Or was it that Monaco was about half the size of my city? I don't remember. And South America is twice the size of the United States. That's so weird! The US isn't as big as I've always thought it to be, or else everything else is bigger than I thought. Oh well, whatever the case, geography has suddenly become a topic of interest for me.

Anything else about school? Chemistry isn't so bad, now that some other senior is in my class. I don't like him, I never really have, I've known him since freshman year. He's really pessimistic, he lets you know he doesn't care, oblivious to the world and all its problems. But, I think he might be retaking it because of a schedule mess-up, or a failure. I'm in it because I took Physics a year early. The kid that hangs out with my friend, Lliz, a gothic-y kid with really light blue eyes, thinks he's smarter than me, despite all my hard classes. So, he was trying to argue politics with me, and I'm so SO done with arguing politics with 16-year-olds. Then he tried showing off his knowledge of movies, "What kinds of film do you like?" Uh, ones that aren't Catwoman. o_0 Der. I'm not wasting a word about the symbolism in films that kids have never heard of just to look smart. Not when I've got a chapter in AP English to outline! Which brings me to my next point: I'm currently carrying 10 books with me this semester, 5 binders,lunch, and a planner. Weee! Luckily I have two classes that alternate days, so that lightens my load a wee bit.

And in French we did yoga... by reading the directions to each other, in French. And then studied the French government, in French. It's a lot like the American government, but with ministers in Congress, along with a senate and assembly. That's pretty cool. University tuition is paid for by the government, but only if you pass a test in highschool. If not, you have to go to trade school and make refridgerators your whole life. The ups and downs of rebublic democratic socialism.

And enough about things I've learned, now onto complaining. Because without complaining, where would we be? A lot better off, that's right. Kids are so immature. Mum and I went to this little store down the street to pick up some milk last night, it's run by a really nice Indian family that seems to know us by now! But while we drove up, there were two teenage girls playing and screeching by the road, obviously pretending to have fun, but also obviously wanting attention from passing cars. It's like everything teenagers do is for some unseen audience, we have to dress right, act outrageous, and pretend to be smart to win the respect of those invisible spectators. It's completely different from the feeling of someone constantly watching you, and it sounds like something an adult would say to explain bad behaviour. And I've got a better grip on my feelings about it than I can verbalize, but there's just something so immature in the way kids act. Every one I see that acts like the way I used to (doing anything for attention) seems almost ignorant of real life. I'm a lot more self-contained this year, I keep some things to myself whereas last year I didn't. I still talk, but I won't say everything I think unless it's the absolute truth, you know? I won't say silly or meaningless things because they're just that: silly and meaningless. I'm not becoming more reserved... but I'm overtaken with a feeling of duty almost while I'm at school. I'm not there to goof-off or talk to friends. I'm simply there to learn and then go home and be with my family and email my friends. I'm more business-like. I still crack jokes and talk over people and make my voice heard, but it's in a more mature manner. The manner that some of my friends have yet to see, I'm afraid to say.

Really, what it is, is that I'm becoming more picky about people. Whereas before I was more willing to be accepted, this year I'm the one doing the accepting. It's not even the fact that I'm older than everyone else, it's the fact that when I see how kids throw airplanes to simply get attention, I know that in order for them to be with me, they must first prove that they can show restraint. I guess.

I have no idea what I'm saying. I guess you can take the girl out of immaturity but never the immaturity out of the girl. *sigh* One day I want to be grown up. And a fairy princess. Actually, I think I used to want to be a fairy princess mermaid. I didn't know all those things could coincide... maybe in the Irish merpeople they can. But they're kinda creepy. Actually, all Irish tales are.

Well, sorry for the incoherence. Just go with it. It's Friday.

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one thousand embraces

SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24

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