:: Youth & Eternity ::
Honey, I sense this is gonna go on for quite awhile, so let me just boil all this hoo-ha down into two important points: one-- brown is over, and two-- you need to get a life.
[2005-01-01 @ 12:32 p.m.]

Ahh! It's 2005! Happy New Year everyone!

Now, if only I weren't msing (see? It's not pms, it's ms! I don't know a better and more offensive term for it), life'd be grand.

What's in store for the year 2005? A lot! Thanks for asking! My mum, my brother, and I are moving into a newer but smaller house, and divorcing my abusive dad. This means no longer will I have to cope with his childish hissy-fits directed at me. Yesterday (last year) I dropped a big bowl on the floor in mid-transfer to the refridgerator, and it shattered into a thousand pieces. My dad was playing a videogame in the next room, and didn't even pause when I started to scream. It could have amounted to a hospital visit, but he didn't care. Then, last night (last year/this year) he went with my real family (i.e. my brother and mum) to a Church celebration. He didn't stand up when the congregation sang. He passed gass the entire time with his hand on his crotch. And he fell asleep. Amazingly, he has no problems playing my brother's video games until 3 in the morning, but he can't stay awake through a midnight service. He was being utterly disrespectful to show us his disdain for being there, and what do I have to say to that? Get up, and walk home (leave the car for the three of us to go to IHOP later).

But, see, it doesn't matter, because this is an entirely New Year. And this year he'll be gone. This year I don't even have to keep his last name. When I turn 18 in March, I'm getting rid of every bad memory of my earthly father, and replacing them with my Heavenly father. I'm going to a Courthouse and changing my last name to my mum's original last name, Kennedy. And in our new house there won't be any holes in the wall where he tried to hit my brother and missed.

But, then I have to go to college, possibly study abroad, and leave the only living people who've ever understood me (Mum and my brother, like I should have to explain it). I don't even know what state I'll live in! I wish that colleges could just reply sooner, that would make my life easier. I could start studying what subjects are offered that I like, and I could start packing the stuff I need to take, and start shopping for dorm-room supplies, and... but instead, I don't even know where I'll be going to (for five years, mind you) in a couple of months.

My New Year Resolution? I don't have one. Why? Because every day is new, and every day is the time for resolution. If I make myself promises just once a year, what's the point to life? Not much, I suppose. So, I will grin and bear whatever problem faces me on whatever day it comes, because a couple of resolutions to work for during the course of a year just isn't enough!

Happy 2005! And more precisely, happy January 1st, 2005!

**the title is from Will & Grace**

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one thousand embraces

SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24

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