DO NOT tell me that I should be reading. I know I should. But see, I'm being smart. I'm working on my scrapbooks for my reading books simultaneously. I've already got the cover for Wuthering Heights looking beautiful. I burned tea-stained book pages and everything for it. It looks parfait, may I add. And parfait as in the French word for perfect, not parfait as in the edible kind. But the cover is so gorgeous, it could stand for both. I used vellum and tracing paper and stamps and fabric and I drew a picture of Emily Bronte and put a beaded trim on... and that's only the front cover. And I've been printing out and cutting apart Victorian paintings that I think resemble the main characters. I can't find any for Heathcliff, though. I think I'll draw him myself, based on a picture of Eric McCormack from Will & Grace. No, no, I'm not a fan girl or anything, but if you've read the book, think about what Heathcliff looks like. Now imagine Eric McCormack's face. The eyebrows? Yeah? It's perfect. Just do an angry shot and put some longer hair on him. The end! Well, I dunno how he might feel about that, considering that Heathcliff was symbolic of sex. He was like, one big phallic symbol, actually, but walking and talking. And I don't know where I'm going to find one of Mr. Lockwood. I wanted someone who looked smart in all senses of the word, so I think I'll find and draw a picture of Hugh Dancy in Daniel Deronda. That'll take, what, ten minutes? Then I might even be able to go back in with some paint or pastels and make it look gothic to match the tone and imagery of the novel itself.
It's a good book. You should read it.
Anyway, that's about my life summed up in a paragraph or two. That right there. Oh. Yeah! I forgot! Go here and see stories I've written! Some people disagree with my strong views on politics and culture and religion. But some people don't actually notice that not a single of my essays are written about those topics. So some people are stupid! YAY! I've gotten, like, five million emails from five million people all on the subject of reviews I've given them. One girl (I'm guessing it was a girl) asked me why I thought her opinions on the Holy Trinity were wrong, and why it is that I think the Bible and Christianity coincide, and isn't that the reason that Christianity is the way it is today? Another got mad because she/he offended me by saying all Americans think Australians are artless imbeciles. Oh my gosh. And one kid got mad because I told him that John Kerry sucks. Well, not in those words. More articulate. I really hurt his feelings though, back and forth through like five emails. What a wuss. Not to be mean, but for heaven's sake, can't people grow up enough to make an argument that doesn't include "I think you just like to type mean emails..."? Basically everything I've read goes something like, "Well, maybe I'm wrong, but you're not always right!" Yeah, I never said that I was always right, but that doesn't change the fact that you're WRONG.
And I'm not a mean person. I'm very quiet and kind when it comes down to it.
...HAHAHAHA! Anyway, I've gotta go. I really do give nicer reviews than that, usually. But I can't talk about that now, My Hero is on! AHH! THERMOMAN! Toodles!
SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24