Gah. I HATE Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. Never, ever, EVER read it. Or else. It's so... much like The Metamorphosis. I hate that one too, to be honest. They're interesting. But terrible. I hate them. It's like... they're really allegories. And allegory is a term to mean the use of symbolism and metaphors in art. If something, like a painting or a book, is an allegory, however (this is where the technical definition varies with the real meaning), the story doesn't make sense. Everything seems random and pointless in an allegory. Like the pink pajama man in Heart of Darkness. I mean, it's so easy to figure out the fact that he's obviously used to symbolise the absurdity of colonisation, but really, it just seems like he's an old guy running out of doors in his pink pajamas. And that's silly. In my opinion, the best books are the ones that make sense without translation of the metaphors, but they still contain meaningful metaphors to be decifered. It's far too easy to just throw random things together like that, but a good book makes all of it make sense.
*sigh* In other words, I've been working on English assignments again. I'm almost home free with this summer stuff. Some seventeen chapters to do in French... I could do it in a couple of hours. I skipped two meals to finish up my English scrapbooks, and stayed up 'till two in the morning this morning simply drawing Mr. Lockwood. I was surprised at how well that one came out, though. And since I stayed up and drew it in bed, no commercials could scare me anymore! It was the ...(in a menacing voice) perfect plan... I, no, wait, (end menacing voice), okay, I wish I could see the look on my teacher's face when she sees my work. I painted, I scratched, I glued, I drew, I cut, I lost sleep, I became anorexic, all for this silly project! Hmm... I ate a big bowl of spaghettios, and I'm still hungry.
You know, I've determined that I have to live in the UK when I grow up (a whole 7 months away, technically) because it's just healthier. I mean, we eat dinner at six o'clock pm in the evening, lunch at noon, and breakfast at 6. There, it's breakfast at 6, dinner at noon, and tea at 6 pm. It's just smarter. That way you have the biggest meal of the day when you need it most, instead of when you're gonna be fat and non-exercise-y. It's just brilliant! That (alongside places like McDonalds and a thing called Pepsi) is the reason we Americans are so fat. Well, fat is happy, isn't it?
Actually, there was a recent study out that asked men what they preffered in women. Believe it or not, most men (something like 80%) prefer light brunettes, not blondes. That still doesn't affect me, though, as my hair is dark red. On top of that, most men prefer their women to be slightly pudgey, with some fat in their stomachs. I've been noticing lately the enormous lack of breast implants, and I've also noticed that models aren't completely rails anymore. Cool, huh? Well, it's nothing like Medieval times, up until the Vitorian age. If you were chubby then, it showed your affluence, so poofier ladies were chosen over skinnier ladies. That's why all those women in Roman dress in the Renaissance paintings are so fat, especially in the hips and arms. Victorian times made the corset to further that, a little waist, but big hips and big arms, like an hourglass. It's strange how everything reverts back unto itself in the end.
Anyway, that's about all I have to say. My life is soooo boring.
Oh, and the title was spoken by a priest on Mystery Science Theatre 3000. But Crossing Jordan last night reminded me of it. A woman was murdered after she had followed through on an affair outside of her wedding. It was proven that her husband killed her, but Jordan had to find out who she had sex with to see if that could fill any gaps. Turns out it was a Catholic priest and blah blah blah... I can't believe I've gotten so addicted to that show. Argh. It's Bug's fault, he's my favourite. I still have to say that I prefer Monk! (monks, priests...)