Merry Christmas, everyone! Pretty soon, Commando Claus will invade your home with his reindeer, one of which has a laser-gun attatched to his nose. He'll slide down the chimney with stealth and a sack full of gift-wrapped explosives to put under your highly-flammable tree. He'll steal your cookies, milk, and Guinness ("Bailey's" family be darned) and he has no qualms about leaving soot footprints across your newly cleaned carpet or hard-wood flooring. I suggest you keep both an AK47 and a hand-pistol (for close-range) by your bedside (as long as those Democrats stay out of office, it's perfectly legal, trust me) next to your night-stick. And flares on your roof-top scare off the reindeer easily.
Okay, I have no idea where that all came from. I really hate Santa Claus, he's destroyed the name of Christmas.
Let's examine this: Christmas. It's not Santamas. It's about the birth of Christ, not about some fat, ugly Coca-Cola advertisement rolling around on your floor in jollity, and free-loading off your food. And the majority of the world is Christian, so you'd think that the true meaning would be celebrated. It's a holy holiday, and why athiests or Pagans or Hindus celebrate a secularized version of it is beyond me. I think it's disrespectful of something that's holy to a lot of people. I also don't see any television shows outside of ISPN showing the true meaning of Christmas. I see on Rugrats the true meanings of both Chanuka and Kwanzaa, but Christmas is still about Santa Claus. I understand that Chanuka isn't yet nationally recognised, and I do honestly believe that the more people learn about the Jewish faith, the better. I also know that since Christianity comprises a majority, less people have to know about it. But why demolish what is holy to a majority just because they are a majority? Why not keep holiness where it was and not forsake it for the minority, no matter how small they've become? We can make Chanuka holy in this country without making Christmas less so. And Kwanzaa... I don't even get Kwanzaa. That won't ever be nationally recognised because it's not really a religious holiday. Just like I'll never get out of school because of St. Patrick's Day.
Did you know he was actually born in Wales? That was as devastating as the time I found out Jesus was born around April.
Tomorrow's Christmas... that means my brother shaking me awake at five in the morning, running downstairs to open our presents while our parents (this time I'm guessing it'll just be Mum!) trudge sleepily behind us. Shaking our stockings upside-down, him hoping for something with PS2 across the top, me just hoping for anything pretty. And my mum getting her little non-personal gifts from dad, and he getting oodles of carefully planned presents from her. And then my dad takes out the wine and locks himself someplace where he can wish his girlfriend "Merry Christmas" while my mum tries not to act like her feelings are hurt by something that plugs into a wall, something that he really wanted, not she. And then my brother will take over the television for his games, and I'll bury myself in trying on what clothes I received while my gammie and mum bake the ham and yams (see? I'm rhyming in the spirit of the holidays), and my dad comes down to pick apart the good bits of the meat before dinner and leave us the fatty parts.
This time next year, Christmas will be a lot happier. And my brother will shake me at 5 in the morning, and I'll still be tired from travelling home from college, and we'll trudge downstairs and open our presents with Mum, and I'll have had the money to buy her something personal from Ireland, and a videogame for my brother, and there'll be eggnog, and not wine, for everyone. And when the ham starts to bake, we'll pick at it ourselves, and we won't be constantly reminded by rejection because he'll be with his girlfriend (whoever she is that month) giving her impersonal electronic gifts that he really wanted. And I won't be forgotten again, like I was this year, and there won't be an ugly wound from Christmas anymore.
And then we can celebrate it anyway we want! With silver and blue Chanuka colours (because I prefer that over red, green, and gold, actually) and a brand-new Christmas tree. And we'll have our own house, without a hole in the wall above my brother's bed from when my dad got mad, and we won't be afraid of dying in a car-accident when he drives, and I'll study whatever subject in college I want. And Christmas will finally be what it's supposed to be, Jesus' birth, and it won't be as miserable as it always is. As a matter of fact, all of our holidays will be nicer, won't they? Of course, lucky me (verbal irony), I get to be away at school for most of them, away from my mum and brother, writing term papers on the Film Noir Movement, or the impact of Charlie Chaplin on modern comedy (???). Okay, I doubt that's what I'll really do in film school, but I can guess, can't I?
Term papers will really be first a short-film script and second a feature-length script. Well, except for foreign film studies, I think those will be real essays. And a Thesis is usually an actual film. Imagine that. A lot of Columbia films go to Sundance... and win! Cool, huh? NYU's also turned out oodles of directors, including M. Night Shyamalan, I hear! Pretty cool, pretty cool.
By the way! That third Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, have I mentioned how much I love that new director? Amazing! The magic seemed more realistic, and thus (rather like a paradox) more like magic! It was handled really well. That's not to say that I didn't like the previous ones, on the contrary, but sometimes they felt a little lopsided. Like, it would spend too much time impressing the audience instead of moving along with the story. Which was fine because Harry was younger, but now that he's becoming angsty, I think a quicker pace is far better. And also not simply including an explanation right at the end, that always gets a little annoying. Like, there's no more time left, so we'll just have Dumbledore explain everything to Harry really quickly. Which actually irks me in the books, too. But, it is a children's story, and slightly leaning towards a mystery genre, and that kind of overt ending tends to be used in both.
Anyway! Digression! (Why am I attempting an analysis of a children's book anyway?) Sorry it's been so long... I'm going to go take a shower. And stuff. And drink some water. And read... something... I was making my mum a painting of a coral reef, but it's not turning out very well, so I think I will abstain from giving it to her. That and the fact that my ever loving father knocked most of my stuffed animals and paint-supplies across my room because he needed someplace to put his dirty laundry. When he leaves, and I get my room back, I'm doing a thorough-cleaning.