Life's a kick in the gut. Do you wanna know why? Sometimes when you're down, it just hits you over and over and over... and OVER! And just when you think life's gonna stop hitting you, it pulls out a large stick and beats you some more until you're covered in bruises and boo-boos. And then you have to wear ugly bandaids, not the ones with Spongebob on them. That's right. Life's just a meanie that needs to be killed brutally and then dumped in a ditch and rained upon for ages, forgotten and forlorn.
In case you're wondering why I'm typing this, I really wanna see Shrek 2, and it's just not out yet. Yes, I realise I'm seventeen years old. Yes, I realise I watch all sorts of indie to to foreign to high budget cinema. Yes, I realise that I'm a "smart kid" who should be reading more Dickens. But! I am one of the world's biggest Shrek fans ever. It's true! And I'm not afraid to admit it. I think the first movie is one of the best bits of film to grace mine eyes (I've seen a lot of films), because it's just so witty. And that's the simple truth. So today's title is from Shrek numero dos (is that right? I speak French, not Spanish). In french it's Shrek num�ro deux. Deuxi�me. Oui. Anyway, yes. It's from PUSS! In boots! Antonio Banderas rules! Plus I've loved Puss in Boots since I was a little girl, he was always my favourite story-book character. Moreso than Pinochio, moreso than Sleeping Beauty, moreso than The Little Mermaid (Ariel). That's right, I was a Puss in Boots kinda girl, and now he's in Shrek, so all must rejoice.
I swear to heavens that I have a life. I ordered it from QVC on speed-delivery. Should be here tomorrow. Tomorrow I get to go to the grocery store! Okay, yeah, big deal, right? Well, usually Mum just goes while I'm at school, but we need to go tomorrow. Which is perfect because I'm all out of Dove Shampoo. I had to use Pantene, and it makes my scalp itchy and flaky and that's really gross. On top of that, I'm all out of shaving cream and razour heads for my Venus (I'm really starting to hate that thing, it doesn't cut very close to the skin and STILL I manage to cut my legs with it). I run out of shaving cream really fast, because my skin rashes really easily and I have to use an Extra-Sensitive kind that comes in little tiny bottles for my really, oddly long legs (being tall is such a pain sometimes!), so I'm constantly running out. It's genetics, not me. Don't blame it on me!
So my brother got a new gift from Dad today, all the way from New York. A set of Chinese rings, only street-magic style. They're key-rings, but they work just like those big linking Chinese rings in Vegas. He was so excited! He loves magic, and he's actually very, very, very gifted with it. His sleight of hand could fool David Blaine, no lie. He's always getting new tricks, and stumping people on the street with it. He knows how to levitate (I can too, it's quite simple really), and make his thumbs light up, all sorts of bizzarre card tricks, and number tricks. Like this one: Pick a two digit number between 10 and 100, but both numbers have to be odd and they can't be the same number. Was your number 37? If not, was it 15? That's a tricky one, because you don't really know what the person's going to pick. But 37 is 50% the most chosen number, and 15 is a close second. But you always get that oddball person picking 17. Losers. Can't just be normal now, can we? And the greatest thing about his magic is that I get to learn it, too. I don't have the finesse that he has though, a young kid of 13, out-witting adults! But one of his rings broke, so it was pretty sad. We have to send it back for another set. No biggie. They are disturbingly expensive.
Maybe if you ask me nicely, I tell you how to levitate. Or not.
And I miss Frasier still. I saw the finale, and I cried all night because of it. I really love that show, and the end was fantastic. I really didn't think he was going to go to Chicago. And I watched Joan of Arcadia last night, and sincerely thought that Joan was going to go through with it. But she didn't and life was good. And what else? Uhh... err... Kelly said she's let me borrow some movies, ranging from Big Fish to The Last Samurai (and you really didn't believe me when I said I was a Cruise fan). Thank you Kelly! I am forever endebted to you! I'll make an Orlando Bloom day or something, I dunno.
Because we all know how much I love Orlando Bloom's acting talent (twitch, twitch, twitch). Coughcoughnotcoughcoughhack. He is purdy, though. He stole Hugh Dancy's haircut for Troy, but I'll let that one slip. It does look better on Dancy, though. So nyah.
One of my caring friends told me that I'm extremely opinionated and could easily offend people. COOL! How great is that? Someone else told me that I'm "blunt", like straight-forward. Big-mouthed as I like to call it. I also know that I'm some sort of strict fundamentalist around my friends. I have friends that do some pretty stupid things, and I'm never too afraid to lecture them about what I think of it. I don't get it. I don't have a boyfriend. I don't make fun of people. I've never seen drugs (not including alcohol or cigarettes), let alone have done them (this IS including alcohol and cigarettes). I wouldn't touch the stuff, or, oh say, keep it in my closet for laughs like some people coughcough do. Ah-hem. But I already lectured that person. I guess being blunt and being religious makes me a very straight-edged kinda gal. Who likes Shrek and doesn't like Orlando Bloom. And judging by what people like Lindsay Lohan and Scarlett Johansson have been caught doing lately (Benecio Del Toro, anyone?), I hope that I can keep those scruples and still get where I want to go.
And I don't understand why famous people do that. Do drugs, go out for heavy drinking and hit up drugstores for porn, have sex in public areas. They all look like fools, big, ugly, drugged-up idiots, and it gets them even more attention and more movie deals. It makes me really sad and really angry at the same time, because I'd give anything for their jobs, and I may never have that chance because I'll never stoop to that level of cowardice. It's not like they've got anything to be afraid of, anyways. Well, unless they were ever on the Patridge Family.
And that's my bit of insight for today. Hmm... with that, I think I'll take my leave!
Toodles!
SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24