Well. I'm hideously tired, which is strange considering that I haven't done anything today. Or in the past few days. Last night I was so hyper-active that I stayed up reading, like, four different books, picking one up and reading a chapter, picking up the next and reading a chapter...
Three of them are by people with a common first name: Eoin. All are based on Celtic Mythology. I'm learning a lot about the Irish, would you believe it? They had mound structures based on calculated math that predated the pyramids, 'tis true! That, my friends, is the reason that the Irish should be controlling the world. Why aren't we? Alcohol.
Anyway, as previously stated, I haven't done anything at all in the past few days, so I haven't really got anything to type about. I saw Marie Osmond on the Today Show this morning. Why isn't it called the Morning Show? Well, anyway, she was nauseating. She's got her own radio show now, apparently, and she's like, "Well, I'm a good person to run it because I've been through so much. Stuff like abuse and sexual harassment." She was laughing.
You know what, sexual harassment isn't funny. It makes me literally ill when people joke about it. I've been through it, and it's just not something you laugh about. So there she is, light heartedly, "Oh, yeah, lahdeedah, I'm such a bigshot because I've been sexually harassed..." I've been sexually harassed by forty-year-old men since I was eleven. It's not funny. And I swear to heaven that if I ever read in any of your diaries (though I love you all to death) a joke about sexual harassment, I'll, I'll... well, I'm sure I'll do something. Just be sure about it.
There are specific examples I could retell to you all, but I don't feel like going through it. I know about it, Mum knows about it, and God knows about it, and that's all I need to depend on.
However, Marie Osmond, you sick freak, you should be ashamed of yourself! People that are actually harassed don't smile about it, no matter how comfortable you are with your past. No matter what, it's not a matter to smile over. And, yes, I just called you a liar. I'd do a lot for attention, but never that.
So, anyway, happy thoughts, right? Happy thoughts... happy thoughts... OKay, I'm happy. Now, is it just me (though this is sorta on topic, but happier), or are older women with younger men, isn't it just gross? I mean, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher? Nasty. It's gotta suck for the kids, having to go to school, "Yo, your future dad is hot!" Or seeing their mom's boyfriend in underwear ads that other kids their age are drooling over. Gross! He's closer to her kids' ages than he is to hers! I mean, even a five year difference creeps me out. I think it has something to do with the maturity level, I guess, because women mature faster mentally than men. See, younger women with older men don't bother me at all. Calista Flockhart and that old fart Harrison Ford, go for it! I do think it's a lame attempt of his to be younger, and he did leave his wife for her, but it's not gross like Demi Moore. See, it's not even as weird when some woman dates a really old guy for his money, because you can't imagine it the other way. Is it just me?
I think I'd prefer to be alone, anyway, and have bizarre affairs alluded to in the press to create controversy. Like popping up on a public beach crowded with cameras with, I dunno, Keanu Reeves. See, Nicole Kidman has the right idea. She disappears, and then pops up with Lenny Kravitz once or twice, and then says, "My children are my main priority." I think one of the best things she ever did was leave Tom Cruise. It's weird, because they look and just feel like the perfect couple, and he's talented and good looking and all, but he's got to be a pain to live with. What with his scientology, "I am my own god." He's probably got a bit of a Napoleon Complex on top of that, and a swelled head from being at the top of the A-List. I wonder how much he hates Johnny Depp right now...
Sooo, yeah. Can you tell I haven't done anything in the past few days? You know what I need? A good spurt of coffee... Mum won't buy me mints anymore, because I ate a whole tin in a day last time. They're so small, and compact, and addicting... I can't help that I like to have minty fresh breath! The ads lie, it doesn't last. If it lasted, I wouldn't have to keep eating them, would I? It's weird, because I'd rather skip a meal in favour of a tin of mints and some coffee. This is why the Irish don't control the world! First it's Baileys and Guiness, and now it's Eclipse mints and Baileys-flavoured coffee! ARGH!
And there's an M. Night Shyamalan special on SciFi on Sunday. I can't believe I was watching that channel long enough to find out, but they were playing my favourite Indiana Jones movie (the third one, the last crusade). Where did you go wrong, Harrison? Oh, where? Oh, yeah, Star Wars. But, anyway, be there and be square. And The Village is out on July 30. Be there and be a circle.
Toodle-oo.
SILENCE, TRAITOR! - 2006-05-10
Irish History - 2006-05-02
Goodbye Bio! - 2006-05-01
DANCE, WATER! DANCE! - 2006-04-26
Gaaaaaah. - 2006-04-24